66 Text Notes - BTS HYYH

Chronological Order Part 2

Jungkook

11 April, Year 22

~by @papercrown

In the end, it turned out how I wanted. I purposely ran into the thugs I met on the street and got beat up to my heart's content. Since I laughed while they were hitting me, they called me a crazy bastard and hit me even more. I leaned against the shutter door and looked up at the sky. It was already night. There was nothing in the pitch-black sky. I saw one clump of grass at a distance. It was lying on its side in the wind. It was like me. I felt like I was going to cry, so I forced myself to laugh.

I closed my eyes and saw the image of my stepfather clearing his throat. My stepbrother kicked me and laughed. My stepfather's relatives looked elsewhere or talked about meaningless things. They acted like I wasn't even there, like my existence didn't matter. In front of them, my mother was at a loss. I placed my hands on the floor and stood, but dust rose up and i coughed. It hurt as if I'd been stabbed in my solar plexus. I went up to the roof of the construction site. The night city stretched out in terrible color. I climbed up on the railing and walked with both arms spread out. One leg lurched, and I almost lost my balance. I thought that I could die with just one step. If I died, it would all be over. Nobody would be sad without me.

Namjoon

11 April, Year 22

~by @papercrowns

I was rummaging around for a t-shirt, but Taehyung reached his hand behind and picked up a shirt. It was a t-shirt with the same printed letters as the one i was wearing at the moment. With an awkward laugh, Taehyung removed his torn t-shirt. In the faint glow of the lights that hung from the trailer ceiling, I caught a momentary glimpse of his bruised back. Hoseok looked at me with a shocked gaze. Taehyung put on my shirt and looked at his reflection in the dirty mirror. Then he laughed.

"This punk. turning up late after getting caught by the police for running wild and doing graffiti."

I pretended like I was going to hit Taehyung, and he made a fuss of pretending to be sorry. Yoongi hyung, who had been sitting in one corner of the trailer, slowly approached and smacked Taehyung's shoulder.

Seokjin

11 April, Year 22

~by @doyou_bangtan

With a screech, the car stopped. Having fallen into thought, I had not seen the traffic lights change. Students with familiar uniforms stared at me through the car window as they crossed the road. There were even people pointing at me. I gave a strained smile as I dropped my head.

I knew what I had to do. But that did not mean I was not afraid. Would I truly be able to end all this misfortune and pain? Don't repeated failures mean there can never be a success? Shouldn't I be giving up? Isn't our happiness only a vain hope? So many thoughts came and left.

Without realizing, I had reached the road of the petrol station and I could see Namjoon working there. I drank a deep breath in before exhaling slowly. I thought of Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung, Namjoon and Jungkook's faces, one at a time. And with that, I changed lanes and entered the petrol station. I could not give up. Even if there was only a 1% chance, I would not give up.

Over my window, I could see Namjoon come closer.

Namjoon

11 April, Year 22

~by genius.com

I finished pumping gas. I returned to the shop. Something brushed against my face and fell. Stepping back, a crumbled bill settled at my feet. Out of reflex, I reached down. The random people in the car laughed, and I stopped reaching down. Seokjin hyung watched me from a distance. I couldn't raise my head. What are you supposed to do when you make eye contact with people who drive expensive cars and ridicule others? You confront them. If you believe they're doing something unjust then you have to confront them. It's not a matter of pride or bravery or equality. It's something that you just have to do.

But I was a part-time worker at a gas station. If a customer threw trash I had to clean it up. If they cussed me out I had to listen. If they threw a bill at my feet I had to pick it up. My body shook with humiliation. I dug my fingernails into my palm.

At that moment, someone's hand reached down and picked up the bill. The car filled with people left as if the fun was over. I couldn't look up even after they were gone. I didn't have the courage to look Seokjin hyung in the eyes. It wasn't like he didn't know about my cowardliness, my poverty, my situation, but I still didn't want him to witness it. Hyung stood at the end of my gaze. He didn't move. He didn't approach. He didn't speak.