A/N: this one hasnt been checked as I don't want to lose momentum. Will do it when I can. Love you all. A xxx
“Can we trust him? I don't like wondering if a messenger from the faith I dedicated my mortal life to preaching is up to no good, manipulating us or hiding a hidden agenda, but he is a messenger from a rival faith,” Gunner pointed out. “I am, presently, very firmly in camp Woden and Fríge, and I’m cautious of taking any divine entity from a rival belief system on their word, even an archangel.”
“While I agree with the sentiment, he hasn't yet led me astray,” I answered as I took my seat in the Security Office, sitting between Katie and Conn. The former of which was tucked against Will’s side, the latter of which tugged me into a similar position as I continued, “It was Gabriel who warned me the truth of Valhalla. It was Gabriel who warned me Tiw could trap my son's soul there to use against Leof. It was Gabriel who told me I could bear a child in this body. As cryptic as he is, and as Christian as he is, he does appear to be truthful. He also appears to have a genuine affection for me. I don't think he's lying, and while I think we should always proceed with caution, I don't think ignoring him would be wise.”
“That does throw a spanner in the works, though,” Leof replied as his fingers beat a frustrated drum beat against my hip. “I’m going to ramble here as I get my thoughts in order, but if Gabriel was speaking the truth, then defeating Osier relies on you being in this body. If we can't defeat Tiw until we defeat Osier, and Osier’s defeat depends on you being Darcy rather than Fríge, then it would make sense that we need to remove Osier before we go for our other bodies, because entering Ésageard will always carry the risk of being forced to face Tiw and we need to be in the best position possible to do so. If we go after Osier first, it means waiting to go after Tiw, Viđarr, even Loki. We have to wait to retrieve a divine soul and that means leaving the wolf where he is for now. Despite everything, I don’t want to leave him there longer than necessary.”
Closing my eyes, I tried to swallow down a rising tide of panic at how much I needed to resolve, and quickly. “Ok, before I have a meltdown, lets break this down. Our basic plan of attack is first find and defeat Osier. Second we need to retrieve our divine bodies, which would also be the best time to retrieve our memories in the hope our minds are more capable of downloading an eternity of information from the cloud. Third we need to rescue Fenn, which means trading Viđarr or Loki for him, or taking back Valhalla so we get control of his soul. In amongst that we need to defeat Tiw.”
Will frowned, leaning forward to look at me, “Why Viđarr or Loki? Can't you trade Tiw for him?”
“I could,” I answered, “but if Tiw's in the afterlife then he can be retrieved, just as I retrieved Leof and want to retrieve Abrođen. Ideally I don't want Tiw killed and in the afterlife. I want to find a way to wipe him from existence completely or bind him in a place where no trade will set him free. Same with Osier, otherwise Berith will just keep sending him back. We need to end both Tiw and Osier in a very final sense, even if we take the risk of simply relegating Viđarr or Loki to being counted amongst the slain.
“In the long run defeating Tiw would solve the problem, as the moment we take back control we can release Fenn. As gods of the dead that would be our choice, no trade required. The problem is that there might be nothing left of him by then because we need to get through Tiw's army first. It might be quicker to call out Viđarr or Loki and trade one of them for Fenn. Loki especially, if he’s still residing on earth.”
Chewing my lip in anxiety, I considered my options, gnawing until I bled and Leof tipped my chin up and soothed the sting with his tongue in a wholly inappropriate manner. Not that I complained, even though my mind was firmly on Valhalla.
“In a way I'm in a better position for Fenn because I know it can be done and even how to do it. With you I started from a position of totally bereft ignorance, but it's still going to be difficult. I still can't estimate a timeframe for being able to retrieve him and that terrifies me. I want to believe he'll hold on as long as you did, at the very least... but I could visit you. I could remind you to hold on. It's too big a risk to do that for him. I learned my lesson already. He's not going to be granted any relief and Tiw will have complete control of him.”
My breath caught, the pain in my chest increasing exponentially. “He’s been beaten and abused his whole life. He's known fists and scorn from the moment he was born, but Valhalla will be so much worse. And I can't do anything about it until we figure out how I defeat Osier. Despite all I’ve learned, all I know, I still have to sit here knowing someone I love is being tortured out of his mind and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. Not yet. I want to pull him back now, and I can't. I just can't. Again. I'm a goddess and I feel... Helpless.”
Leof pressed a chaste kiss to my cheek. “Focus on your plan of attack, Little Warrior. Take one task at a time. It's all you can do. Trust in your ability to navigate our trials. Trust him to hold on. Trust me that we will get through this. Focus on Osier. Any ideas on what Gabriel meant about using your bond with him? And using his vices?”
That was another question. One I didn't want to answer. “My theory is even more risky that entering Ésageard.”
All eyes turned to me and I sighed as my co-Sires, Second, and a Consort directed the focus in my direction, waiting patiently as if I would offer some plot more devious than handing myself over to Osier, or at least placing myself in his path.
“Gabriel said to use Osier's belief that he can take from me, through our blood bond. We know from the night we retrieved Will that Osier can draw on my energy, steal my strength and use it as a power source. Maybe I give him it. Maybe I get close enough to let him draw from me.”
Eyes widened and brows shot into hairlines. Gunner shook his head, asking, “Isn't that something you've been trying to avoid. Surely handing the powers of a goddess to that deranged psychopath is much the same as arming a nuclear bomb?”
“I thought so. I've thought so since the night he had me meet up with him, when I first learned of his ties to Berith. I’ve also always feared that having his magic touch mine might corrupt what I am. I was corrupted by Ragnar as Valkyrie and it was so easy to believe Osier would create another stain on my soul. But Gabriel said that I'm more than Osier. He said... what resides in me is far brighter than the darkness in Osier.
“Maybe I’ve been so afraid of what Dorian could do to me that I've never stopped to think about what I could do to him. A god's power is eternal, but what he's been granted from Berith is limited because he is not Berith himself. Maybe it's as simple as outshining him. This body can't hold all the power available to me, maybe his can't either. If I let him take, and take, and take, maybe his greed will ensure he takes too much? Enough to burn away so much more than I did when I used heat to destroy Ragnar. If I give him a dose of goddess through the connection that came from being born as a human, maybe I can destroy him.”
“So many maybes,” Leof observed, frowning deeply. “And that is a huge risk. If it fails you might weaken yourself and give him an unimaginable boost. Also, you could kill yourself. You said yourself that this body can't hold the power you're talking about wielding. How do you plan on channelling it into Osier?”
I tugged the Grian Amulet from under my collar. “I sent this to myself for a reason, and I haven't expended its usefulness yet. Yes, I'll burn. Yes, it'll hurt like... well, like stepping into the sun, quite frankly. But it might also achieve what we need to achieve.”
“Little Warrior, that's an awfully big might,” Conn paraphrased his earlier concerns. “If the amulet fails, if you go too far, you could kill yourself and our son. You could hand yourself over to Tiw.”
I arched a brow, giving him his own signature look as I turned towards him, “What do you take me for? I'll stop before I expire, I promise. I'm not going to give Féabearn to Tiw. At worst I'll have to stop and then Osier will capture and possess me. I’ll be a battery for his magic but I won't be dead. Not ideal, granted, but you'd just have to retrieve me somehow.”
“And if he decides to hand you over to Tiw, as they were going to at the shipyard?” Conn asked.
“Who would that benefit? Tiw doesn't have access to my other body at the moment. He can't use me to create an heir at this point in time. I'm more useful as a battery for his allies, in this body, than as a captive in Valhalla. If worst comes to the worst I'd just need to persuade Osier and Berith of that fact. That is where Osier's vices come into it. He wants to possess what I have and he's arrogant enough to believe himself capable of both holding me and preventing you from rescuing me again, despite all evidence to the contrary. I can use that, if I need to,” I insisted. “I've put all the dominoes in a line, removed my body from Tiw’s possession, given myself the Grian Amulet, forged a link between myself and Osier through my rebirth. All I need to do is knock the first domino down.”
“I don't like this. There's too much speculation,” Leof repeated, despite my determined tirade.
I took his hand, twining my fingers with his and pleading with him, “You've said before that you would trust me. That I've had everything planned. Leof, if I knew I’d end up in Ésageard finding clues, then I must've known I'd go to heaven and befriend Gabriel too. I knew we'd get to this point. Maybe it's time we just... went with the flow. Yes, if it fails then the consequences are dire. But what will the consequences be of doing nothing? Of debating and arguing while more of our allies die and or enemies grow in strength?
“The child of Osier has a role to play, still. I need to do this. There's no avoiding this. One day soon, you will have to stand on a battlefield and face down Tiw. You'll have to do it no matter the risk. No matter the consequences of failure. I need to do the same with Osier. I need to prove that the good in me can wipe away the darkness I'm connected to.”
Will leaned back in his chair, saying what Leof still refused to see. “I argued when you decided to go after him, to retrieve him from Ragnar, but you were right to do so. I told you that you might need to let him go when he died and I demanded you stop going to Valhalla, but you were right to hold on and right to give him some relief when only you had the ability to do so. I argued with you over Kitty, when I would've been wiser if I'd accepted what you were trying to tell me sooner. Too many times I, or someone else, has tried to stop you doing something that you felt in your heart was right. Invariably we are proven wrong and you are shown to be right. If this is the path you think we must take, then I'll follow your lead. Despite how terrified I feel every time you or Conn steps outside the house, I'm not going to gainsay you.”
Katie squeezed Will's hand then nodded at me. “Hear, hear. You lead and we'll follow.”
Gunner sighed, looking between Will and me, and then turning to Conn, adding, “I think this is risky. I think this has the potential for catastrophe. But I think you going after her when Viola took her was also risky. Her going after you high on wolf blood had the potential for catastrophe. She's right when she says both action and inaction carry risks, but our lives have only gotten progressively more dangerous month by month for the last year. We are dying, here. I choose action over inaction. If this is the path she believes most likely to succeed, then I’ll follow her.”
Conn pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes and sighing because he knew I’d do as I wanted either way, and I'd do it with the support of his most trusted cohort members. He shook his head, mumbling, “I rue the day you were made Sire.”
“That was your idea,” I reminded him.
“I know,” he answered. “And if I'd listened to you about Fenn I might not have died and made it necessary for you to take on that mantle. I’ll listen to you now. I agree to it, Little Warrior. To every plan in your head. But I'm not going to be happy about it.”
Leaning in, I kissed his cheek, taking a moment to inhale his familiar scent and feel his heat against me. “Thank you, Woden.”
He turned, kissing me properly, his lips demanding against mine. “But promise me you'll be careful. Promise me you'll be safe.”
“I promise to do my best. My intention is to do this then come home to you. And intention is the guiding force for magic becoming results. I'll be alright.”
I tried to sound confident, even though we all knew my claim to be far from certain.
“Right,” Gunner said once a loaded silence had fallen again. “Now that we have the theory decided upon, we need to get to the issue of practicality. This isn't going to work unless we discover where Osier is hiding.”
“I have an idea about that too. I just don't like it,” I answered.
“You don't seem to like many of you own ideas,” Gunner observed, tone dour.
I laughed and shrugged, “My idea of saving the world was to hand myself over to a sadistic monster to be tortured and forced into slavery for more than a millennium. While my ideas might be the best we have, I don't have to like them any more than Leof does.”
“I hope your next suggestion isn't as bad as that,” Leof responded. “Otherwise my answer will be no.”
I rolled my eyes at him. “Every plan in my head, remember. But no, it's not that bad. It just involves summoning a soul when I don't particularly like my ability to make demands of the dead.”
With that, I focussed my thoughts on the red-haired sentry who’d picked me up from my grandmother's just after my transition, and whom Elsie had killed, “Martin Glennister, Glen, come to me.”
A moment of silence passed and I wondered if my plan had already failed, but then Glen appeared before me, stood in the middle of Gunner's meeting table, his legs disappearing into it's glossy surface. The ex-sentry tipped his translucent head, turning eyes that no longer held any trace of the colour they'd been towards me, his features painted in blue-grey rather than in the rosy tones of the living.
“Sire?” Glen asked, “What can I do for you?”
“I was wondering if you had any idea where Osier is currently hiding,” I told him. “You found Will...”
“Technically I found Elsie,” Glen interrupted. “I found her because she killed me and that forges a link, but Osier moves around a lot and I lost track once Elsie died. I lost my connection to her.”
While I'd expected as much, I couldn't help deflating. Conn’s hand slid up and down my back, trying to offer support, but my frustration didn't abate until Glen spoke again.
“The dead whisper, though. I can put feelers out. Goodness knows Osier’s killed enough people that someone must be able to find him. The problem is that poltergeists can be difficult to get any sense out of, they're so caught up in their anger and pain, and most of Osier's victims died so horrifically that they do end up rather poltergeisty.”
I knew that. I'd seen it. Only the children retained any semblance of themselves, through some innate innocence they retained in spite of how they died.
“I wish I'd thought to get the girl's name. She spoke to me when I went to Osier's lair that time. Little girl in a Disney dress whose mother was screaming at Dorian. She told me she was Belle from Beauty and the Beast but I didn't think to ask her real name.”
Glen's eyes widened in surprise and he nodded enthusiastically. “Of course, that's the answer. I forgot about Aria. I spoke to her a few times while I was trailing Elsie. I think she might be who you mean. She's certainly in a princess dress. I know her, and so I can find her. If I find her, I'll find Osier. Give me a day or two to find out where he is and what his schedule is like, and I'll get back to you.”
I nodded, saying earnestly, “Thank you, Glen. Thank you for still helping us even though you're no longer obligated...”
Glen's expression was open, honest as he answered, “This cohort was my home. The people here were my friends, my family.” His gaze flicked to Conn and back to me. “You're my Sire's. I will always help if I can.” He gave me a rueful grin and added, “Even if you don't command it, oh Freyja-of-the-bloody-slain.”
“We're still grateful,” Leof interjected.
“And I'm honoured by that,” Glen answered, then nodded once. “I'll get back to you as soon as I know anything.”
“Keep out of sight if possible. We don't want to warn Osier that a plan is afoot,” Gunner added, even though he couldn't see his ex-sentry.
Glen grinned, “Tell him ‘yes, sir' from me, would you, Sire?”
I laughed and saluted our Head of Security. “Glen says ‘yes, sir'.”
Gunner shook his head at me asking, “In that tone, with that salute?”
Laughing, Conn admitted, “The tone, yes, but the salute was all Darcy.”
Rolling his eyes, Gunner muttered, “I can still order you to do laps of the dojo, Glennister.” His eyes narrowed on me, “Though was I'm going to do about you is anyone's guess.”
I beamed back at him, knowing there was nothing he could do. Glen's own laughter lingered even after he winked out of sight, then he was gone completely, leaving us to digest our plan of attack and the possibility we might be about to attack the Bloodied Hand.
Feeling Leof's eyes on me, I turned towards him. His pensive mood seephing into my awareness. “What are you thinking?”
“You went to Osier,” he replied regretfully. “You went and heard him out and I was so angry at you for that, yet it's through that seemingly reckless action that we might find him. Because you met that girl, we might find Osier. You also got us the bank account details that ensure we have evidence against the southern sires, should we need it. Like you said, the dominoes are lined up. I'm sorry I let anger rule me when I first came back. I'm sorry I didn’t give you the chance to explain.”
“I forgave you a while ago, you know,” I told him.
“I know, but I wanted to reiterate the point.”
Leof kissed me again, the frowned. “Glen's given me another idea as well.”
“Oh? I asked, curious. “What idea?”
I felt rather than saw Conn's reticence to reveal whatever possibility had dawned on him, and his reluctance on piqued my curiosity further.
“Leof?” I prompted.
He conceded eventually, asking, “The dead on earth, those who aren't trapped in an afterlife, they can always find their killers, yes? It's how Glen found Elsie. It's how Deorhild found you?”
When I nodded, he continued, admitting a possibility I'd never even considered before. “I've been murdered, love. Even though we've never made Fenn into a beacon, maybe there's a link we could use to find him. I don't know what use that would be while he's under Tiw's control. I don't know if it'll help us get a hold on him when you pull him back, or even just target his location, but maybe it's something to keep in mind. The dead can always find their killers. There might actually be some benefit to him having fulfilled your prophecy.”
My jaw dropped and I stared at him in awe. “That might actually help. Even with a soul to trade, it takes a lot to wrestle a soul from Tiw's grasp. He didn't want to let you go, he won't want to let Fenn go. Because you were a beacon for me, I found it easier to wrap my magic around you, even as Tiw resisted. Even as you resisted. Having a way to aim at Fenn might offer the same possibility. You're a genius.”
He laughed. “I wish I could take credit, but this is all your plan, love.”
“What a tapestry you've woven at your loom, oh queen of fate,” Will added. “The more threads that are revealed, the more awesome the design seems.”
