Bet ~Jean x Reader AU~

Chapter 33: False Hope

Six missed calls and five voice messages -one call from my mother and five from my father, all the messages being from him. I just stared down at my phone. I hadn't talk to my parents since YM/N arrived in Trost five days earlier. I figured avoiding her was easy enough. After all, she had two more days left in her trip, but YF/N was another story. We had just begun to grow closer after years of having a rough relationship, but I was growing distant again. I was growing distant with both of them.

With YM/N, I knew it wouldn't really matter to her if I cut her off or not. I doubted she ever saw me as much of a daughter. She might have given me the title of her child, but in the end, that meant nothing to her. She wasn't fit to be a mother and I doubted she ever truly wanted to be one, but I believe she felt that was her duty as a woman -to procreate. Besides that obligation to society, motherhood never suited her.

As for YF/N, fatherhood had been something he was meant to do. He had always been there; he came to school events, helped coach my peewee soccer team when I was in preschool and spent time with me. But, after he and my mother split, those sorts of things became less and less. He would still participate in them, but sparsely. After they finalized their divorce, that all came to a halt. I rarely saw or even heard from my father until I was in high school, at which time he began the slow process of rebuilding a relationship with me. I would say we were almost back to a decent stand, but reality was coming for me. I forgave him for so much, but I was beginning to realize that forgiveness was only bound to lead to more hurt...to more abandonment.

I breathed in a haggard breath and glimpsed away from my phone, my eyes falling to the scene outside my window. Sunshine poured down over the landscape, bathing the scenery with brassy hues. The snow was still melting, more and more grassy patches becoming visible as the days slowly warmed. The early morning was beautiful to see. It brought a smile to my face and a dash of spark into my inspiration. I was suddenly feeling a creative bug itching at me, pushing me to get excited.

I gathered my sketch material and hopped into my shoes. I had already been up for about an hour by that point, so I had already showered and gotten dressed. After I had all my things, I made my way out of my room, closing the door behind me. Everyone was still sound asleep, so I didn't need to worry about running into anyone. I just made my merry way down the hall and to the elevator.

I pressed the button, waiting a few moments as I listened to the lift's motor hum, bringing it to me from whatever floor it had been on. I stepped to the side, just in case anyone was on it. The doors slid open, revealing an empty area inside, so I hurried into it. I selected the first floor and waited patiently as I made my descend, still smiling to myself. I couldn't explain it, but I was in a great mood. I had slept like a baby the night before and woke up to the sun shining. All that mixed with the pleasant thoughts I had of Jean left me on cloud nine.

At that moment, the elevator came to a stop, giving way to the main floor. Still beaming, I exited the lift and continued on my way. I trotted through the main lobby and exited out into the world, being greeted by the cool touch of the wind. It was still relatively cold, but compared to January, it was already slightly warmer. Not by much, but a few degrees were better than nothing.

I walked, a slight bounce present in my step as I glanced around. I couldn't get over how wonderful I felt. It was as if I was on top of the world, nothing being able to tear me down. I was feeling that good.

I rounded the bend, still happily soaking up my bliss when I heard two voices -voices I knew very well. Panicked, I took cover behind a wall, well aware that it was in my best interest to remain hidden. I kept my breathing steady, making sure not to create a ruckus as I listened to them.

"Okay. I give. Why did you call me here, Jeanie?" I heard Alexandra ask, her voice sporting exhaustion. "Did we have a date scheduled that I forgot about?"

I waited patiently as Jean sighed, "No. I wanted to talk to you."

"Oh? What about?" she questioned, a sudden perk in her tone.

I remained in my hiding spot, waiting to hear what Jean would say next. By the sounds of his voice, it couldn't have been anything good. His tone had a serious edge to it -one that was hinting at something I couldn't read. Perhaps burdened? Regardless, it contrasted against Alexandra's bubbly chirps, feeding into my curiosity.

"Well, Jeanie? What is it?" Alexandra pressed.

I listened as he huffed, "Our relationship...it doesn't...it doesn't feel right."

My eyes widened at his words. Is...is he breaking up with her? It was pitiful and selfish of me, but I hoped that was the case. I had nothing against Alexandra, but that egocentric part of me prayed that was the case. It was a long shot, but I truly believed I stood a chance. I mean, maybe I did.

"Wh-what are you talking about?" she panicked, her tone dashed with shrillness. "Are you...are you breaking up with me, Jean Kirstein? Is there someone else? Are you cheating on me?"

I chewed on my lips as Jean answered, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Chill. Calm down, Lex. Did you hear me say that?"

"Then what are you implying? What's wrong with our relationship?" she snapped.

He huffed, "Relax. What I meant is that it doesn't feel right keeping it a secret anymore."

My heart sank. That wasn't what I had wanted to hear. I didn't understand why, but a wave of devastation washed over me, causing my heart to skip a beat. My knees wobbled beneath my body, my senses leaving me.

"Wait...does that mean...?" she continued, dragging her words.

"Yes," Jean chuckled. "We can go public."

"Yay! Babe, I'm so excited!" Alexandra cheered.

I could hear the sound of rustling clothes and lips gingerly smacking...sounds I didn't want to hear. That same twinge that accompanied any sort of emotional pain tugged at my chest, begging me to leave but I couldn't. My legs were shaking too much and would surely buckle the moment I tried to walk.

It was pointless. I had gotten my hopes up for no reason. I mean, I don't know why I had been so optimistic. Jean and Alexandra were practically made for each other. She was the SOA president and he was a member of ADA. Both probably had a history with the other, extending all the way back a few years. It only made sense that they'd be together. I couldn't even say why I thought otherwise.

"Babe, we need to take a pic together to announce we're a thing," Alexandra gushed.

"Going Facebook official?" he snickered.

"Of course. Now, smile," she giggled. There was a clicking sound, followed by Alexandra chirping, "Perfect! Share to Facebook -I'll tag you."

"Works for me," he chuckled.

They began to walk, their footsteps scuffing the ground as they went. I waited until I couldn't hear them anymore before collapsing on my knees. My skin stung from the impact, but that was no match for the agony that clawed at my soul, taking my breath away. I had been so stupid. I should have realized I didn't stand a chance. I never did. I had been an idiot who mistaken coincidence and kindness for something more. Jean didn't see me as anything more than the girl who constantly slid on ice. I was nothing whatsoever to him and I don't know why I convinced myself otherwise.

I balled my hands into fists and allowed the numbness to swallow me. For the first time I hadn't minded being near someone -I had been fine leaving my bubble. But, it was all for not. That false sense of hope meant nothing in the end...in the same way I meant nothing.

**Bello my beautiful lovelies! How is everyone? Y'all good? I hope so! As mentioned before, there is only a few more chapters left. I know, feels like I said that forever ago, but it's the truth. I'll let y'all know when we're there. In the meantime, thank you so much for everything! You all make my day! Wuv yous!! <3

-Noel Ross