Life I Guess

Day and Night

We go though the day with the mentality to just make it another day; make it today then worry about tomorrow. We do the same thing every day. Get up, get ready, go to school, get home, do homework, and sleep. We do the same classes and deal with the same shit. Some people let their problems build and build till one day you break and cry, then you do it again. Evey damn thing is so repetitive. I'm getting antsy in this small town; scared the good will fly away like a robin scattering away from an incoming storm. I know in an instant it could all burn down in high flams and all that will be left is the small burning embers of my life. One wrong move, one wrong word, one wrong glance, or one wrong lie. The thoughts that burn into your mind when you should be a sleep at night; the fear of the monsters under your bed that are really screaming in your head. I've been told that it only gets worse as time goes on, and that fighting for air in your crowded lungs gets increasingly difficult till there is no more room to breathe, then your lungs give way and the world goes dark. Your world disappears. All that remains are the monsters you desperately tried to fend of, laughing because they finally got you. You can never fully understand someone who gets so depressed, so hurt, so... Lost that they turn to anything else to calm the screaming voices saying you aren't good enough. Anything to just feel something other than their mental pain until you have felt it yourself; until you have heard the voices in your own head. We question what life is and why we live it, but never get an answer that makes sense. It's just a jumbled mess of "I don't knows" and religious bullshit that is crammed into our heads.( I mean this with as little offense as possible. I'm not religious and I'm very sorry if it offend anyone). It's incredibly fascinating how people can fix their lives on hurting other people. Surround themselves in constant anger. It makes me wonder what goes on inside their own head, what broke them, where they born furious from the start, or what demons are knocking them around. This world has been so broken from the start, so much so that some people can not sort out reality from fantasy. Occasionally I become one of those people, drowning out the harsh stabs of reality, and the violent voices of other broken children in a small town. This small town where putting your trust into the wrong person could shatter the walls you build. Then you start building them higher. This small broken town that telling the minut difference between the truth and a lie consumes your thoughts. Day and night.