Stucky ➳ Oneshots

so. you think you hear laurel?

written by daidalos on ao3 [https://archiveofourown.org/users/daidalos]

–

"Man, are you ever planning on clueing Stark into the fact that you know exactly what's up with this century?"

A smirk curled around Steve's lips as he glanced at Sam. He laughed when his friend groaned.

"Not a chance in hell."

When Steve Rogers came out of the ice, the world was convinced they knew everything about him. The world was convinced that Steve would hate the future, and all of its strange technology. Of course, the world was wrong - not that Steve felt the need to let them know.

Because what the world seemed to forget, was the fact that Steve Rogers is a little shit.

–

It started with a picture.

Tony would argue that point, but everyone really knew it started with a picture, the first picture of Steve Rogers on his brand new Instagram. It was a fantastic picture, made even better by the fact that Steve wasn't actually looking at the camera. He was standing off to the corner, peering over the vast expanse of the Grand Canyon, hands on his hips, emphasizing his enviable shoulder to waist proportions. The picture was made even better by one Sam Wilson, whose goofy expression took up the entire bottom half of the photograph. It was innocuous enough of a picture, but the fact that Steve Rogers, the world's first superhero, now had an Instagram was enough to send the internet into a frenzy.

As Steve and Sam climbed into the small Volkswagon Bug the two of them had rented for the express purpose of taking this trip, Steve's Nokia flip phone began blowing up with the obnoxious "Star Spangled Man with a Plan" ringtone. Rolling his eyes, Steve dug into his pocket and pulled out the phone.

"What do you want Tony?"

"Did you know that you actually broke the Internet?"

Steve sighed.

"It's impossible to actually break the Internet, Tony."

"Well you did. I'm offended. I can't believe that you broke the Internet and I wasn't even there to help you! You brought along Wilson? I've been trying to break the Internet for years! One dumb picture of you at the Grand Canyon and suddenly you might as well be posing naked on a magazine - hey do you think that would work?"

"Tony, all you have to do is google your name and people can see more of you than they would ever want to, so I don't think that you posing naked would really do much to break the Internet."

Next to him, Sam choked on the water he was currently gulping down and spluttered with laughter.

On the phone, from across state lines, Tony was also spluttering in indignation.

"Just you wait Rogers. I'll break the Internet harder than you ever did."

"I don't think that's the correct verb," Steve interjected mildly.

"Look, just wrap up your little sad road trip with Wilson and come to Malibu. There are people I want to introduce you to - including a couple of other nonagenarians you might get along with - and I want to play with Wilson's wings."

Before Steve could say anything else, Tony hung up the phone without any sort of farewell. Steve sighed. He closed the flip phone and tossed it in the back of the car, reaching for the iPhone resting on the dashboard, as Sam started the car.

"Man, are you ever planning on clueing Stark into the fact that you know exactly what's up with this century?"

A smirk curled around Steve's lips as he glanced at Sam. He laughed when his friend groaned.