buddy; grayson d.

eighteen

{song for chapter- eastside by benny blanco}

kennedy

"wait" grayson laughs throwing his head back, "lemme do it again." he beams at me.

i sigh and scoot closer to him. he takes my face in his hand and squeezes my cheeks together, erupting in laughter shortly after. my lips tug into a smile once he pulls away.

"why was that so funny?" i chuckle, smiling at him.

"you're just so cute it's fucking ridiculous." he rolls his eyes playfully, nudging me with his knee.

he gets up off the couch once he hears zach's bedroom door open from the top of the steps, going straight into the kitchen.

a couple seconds later, a puffy looking zach and worn out looking ethan arrive at the bottom of the staircase. zach walked into the kitchen after muttering a small "hi", but ethan just stood there.

ethans eyes meet mine and i shift my gaze away awkwardly. looking at him felt weird. so foreign and wrong. it was like i didn't even know who he was.

oh fuck.

why couldn't he just keep his mouth shut?

how could he possibly like me? he always acted so normal.

i shook it off and walked into the kitchen, not paying anymore attention to ethan as i spotted grayson sitting at one of the barstools. i slid into the stool next to him and pulled my phone out.

"hi guys!" i hear a high pitched yell and almost jump at the sound, the slamming of a door following right after. i catch a glimpse of blonde hair as ava storms into the kitchen, walking right up to grayson. she places both her hands on one of his biceps and gives it a light squeeze, "hey baby".

i roll my eyes at her, didnt she know he didn't like her?

"hi beautiful, how's my girl?" grayson greets her, pulling her in by the waist and planting a long kiss on her plump lips.

the girl could prolly give a really good blow, not gonna lie.

but what the fuck? i thought he said they weren't dating, but he's acting like this is casual?

if i'm gonna be honest, it really hurt. grayson would always tell me how beautiful i was and how ava was just delusional, but this told me otherwise.

i was the delusional one.

ava looks up to me after the kiss and cocks an eyebrow, a look that screamed "i'm so much better than you"

and she was. she got to have grayson. she would always be his number 1, and there was no denying it.

i look over to ethan and he looks back at me, a sorrowful expression on his face. when ava leans into kiss grayson again, id had enough. i pushed my stool chair back and it screeched as it rubbed across the white tile of my kitchen floor.

i took the step down to touch the ground, earning a look from grayson, a look of confusion. without looking back at him, i stomped up the stairs.

"what was that all about?" i could hear zach ask from the kitchen as i reached about half way up, and halted.

"i'll go talk to her-" grayson offered, which made me feel a little better.

"we're supposed to be at mini golf in 10 minutes grayson." ava chimes in, of course they were.

"oh..." he says, "yeah we've got to go i guess." i shut my eyes tight as i made the rest of the journey up the stairs, trying to calm my heart beat and hold back the tears that were threatening to spill.

i liked him. i really liked him. and i thought he liked me too, but ava was just there and i guess i wasn't good enough. one look at ava and any guy would fall in love. one look at me and any guy would be glad he didn't have to see my face everyday.

i walked into my room and plopped down on to my bed with a sigh, frustrated over the fact that i was just so oblivious.

"kennedy?" ethan said on the other side of my door, giving it a light knock.

"come in." i mutter, throwing a pillow under my head and prepping myself onto it.

"you okay?" he asks softly, closing my door behind him. he stood a good 10 feet away from me, making things way more awkward than need be.

"just fine." i sarcastically smile, rubbing my temple.

"let's go do something." he says, "cheer you up."

i sit up in my bed and look over to him, "like what?"

"go to the beach? have a photo shoot? go downstairs and play some pool? literally anything." he chirps, obviously way more excited than i was.

i smiled at his effort and genuine care, "i think the beach is fitting for the last day of summer." i shrug.

ethan claps his hands together, "okay! perfect! i'll run next door and get my shit, get ready while i'm gone and we'll leave as soon as i get back, okay?"

"okay" i laugh, watching out the window as he runs home like an excited little kid.

maybe hanging out with ethan is what i needed to do to calm me down from grayson, but i needed to make sure he knew i didn't like him the way he likes me. i might be a big fucking bitch but i'm not gonna lead someone on. heartbreak hurts. and ethan doesn't deserve it either.

after i picked out a swimsuit and threw it on, along with a black cover up, i headed downstairs to wait for ethan to get back.

he never did. i sat in my living in a bathing suit for two hours trying to get ahold of ethan, i didn't wanna just walk over unannounced, and later he called me back to tell me he accidentally fell asleep, sounds about ethan.

after waking up, ethan came over and we watched movies, breaking into laughter any time adam sandler simply spoke. he brought cookie dough ice cream and his favorite fuzzy blanket to share with me.

the whole time i was afraid he was going to try something with me, which i didn't understand, because he was a respectful person and didn't even make contact with me unless it was lightly punching me after i threw popcorn at him.

i was having so much fun watching movies with ethan that i almost forgot grayson was out with ava, until they both walked through the door again, pulling mine and ethans attention away from Big Daddy.

"hey" grayson said dejectedly as he looked at ethan and i on the floor, ava clinging to his arm. i lightly rolled my eyes as my heart began to hurt just the slightest, as it was earlier.

"what's up?" ethan asked, throwing a piece of popcorn graysons way, landing short onto the couch. grayson and i held eye contact the whole time, why was he here anyways?

"i came to get my stuff and go back home." grayson said as he grabbed a small bag off of the ground next to the front door, his eyes landing on me right after.

"bye" grayson snaps, as ava follows him out of my front door.

"oh, he's not happy" ethan grimaced, turning around. i could tell ethan was trying to lighten my mood, but it didn't work at all.

"i don't care" i tell myself. even though ethan and i both knew it was a lie.

hiiii

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