buddy; grayson d.

twenty-three

helloooo, this has been long awaited, I know, I promise I will get better from here on out. even tho I am not the die hard dolan fan I used to be, I still enjoy writing, and they're the only people i love enough to spend my time writing about. I literally had to go back and re read my story to see where I would take this thing, don't be mad at me. 

"what the hell happened, ethan?!" I ask as I walk through the doors of the hospital waiting room, "you said you'd keep everyone safe." i approached him wearing one of Zach's oversized flannels some baggy sweats and a pair of very dirty muck boots. it was only three in the morning and i had to drive an hour and a half to get here.

"it's not my fault!" ethan protested, uncrossing his arms from around his chest and placing them on his waist as he took a deep breath. "they're going to be okay i just don't think they'll be very good friends after this." he said, referring to grayson and zach who were currently getting treated in the ER after beating the shit out of each other at the concert. 

ethan and i moved over to the loveseat in the waiting room and sat down next to each other, i ran my hands through my hair and sighed, because he was right. 

"grayson got drunk enough to tell zach what has been going on between you guys, and went a little overboard, and zach got drunk enough to be mad enough to deck him." ethan said quietly as the lady at the front desk was sending us suggestive looks. "i'm so sorry ken, i didn't want them to get hurt, and i tried-."

"it's fine, e." i cut him off. if anything this is my fault. I had no right to be messing around with everyone's friendships, i promised zach I would keep myself lowkey around his friends after everything that happened with noah. didn't keep that promise very well. "if anything it's my fault. i should've been smarter and stayed away."

"no kennedy, that's a stupid thing to say." ethan says,"grayson and zach both care about you so much, they wouldn't want you blaming yourself, when really it's their anger that got the best of them." he leans back in his chair and folds his hands in his lap,"grayson loves you, you know?"

my heart sank. those were not the words i wanted to hear right now. "please, let it go ethan. it's all over now." even though i got excited at the thought of being the one grayson loved, it hurt me so much at the same time. he hurt me. he's going to hurt ava, well maybe,  it's just not fair. how can grayson and ava both proclaim their love for each other when they cheat on each other. and how could i be stupid enough to believe grayson when he said they weren't official. and if we would somehow work out, why wouldn't he cheat on me? it was a terrible thought, and i knew the feelings i had for grayson were real, but he'd have to work out a few kinks, and even then, that's just wishful thinking. i didn't want to be kissing a boy who was also kissing someone else. i didn't want to be someone's number two, and i didn't want to be the "other girl". 

"fine, but i know neither of you want to." at that moment the doors to the ER hallway opened up and revealed zach and grayson all bandaged up, standing six feet apart, with a nurse following in suit. grayson had a bandage on his eyebrow and his cheek bone, as well as two blacked eyes and a fat lip with some tape on his hand. zach had a deep gash on his cheek and near his eye with bloodied knuckles. they both looked terrible. i know ethan said it wasn't my fault but i let the guilt seep in and it eventually took over my whole body. I couldn't look at either of them but I knew I'd be the one driving all of them home. we checked each of the boys out, neither zach or grayson saying a word to me as they walked past me and out the sliding doors into the dark parking lot. they walked straight to my beat up white chevy or whatever it is, zach taking the passenger seat with grayson sitting in the back with ethan at his side. most of the ride home was silent. until we reached ethan and grayson's front step and ethan had to shake grayson awake and basically pull him out of the car. 

"im sorry." grayson whispered as he got up and shut the door behind him. i wasn't sure if he was saying it to me, zach, ethan or all of us. but either way my heart sank. I didn't want to know how things would be after this, but I knew it wouldn't be good. 

I don't know how I could be so mad at grayson but so sad at the same time. I just wanted to make sure his scratches weren't still bleeding, make sure that if he needed any medicine he got it, and drank some water. but i couldn't. he was so close and so far at the same time. the boy next door just so happened to become my next nightmare. 

hey guys, if you're still here and still reading this, thank you so much! I know it's been forever, and thank you for thinking this story is interesting enough to read it:)

remember to vote and comment, it would help me out a lot, to motivate me to get into the swing of writing again. :) hope this wasn't too crappy because I'm a little rusty.