Help me Negan

Willing

it's been a whole day since simon was put in the cell.I'm scared of my plan but like i said i would do anything for Eric i started helping some of the people with their job i have been carrying heavy sacks for about an hour now 

hey Issac i said to the worker

yeah what's up?

through the sack to me

no i'm not going to it's dangerous plus your sitting on the floor

so it means i won't fall

you are fucking weird

we all are we live in the apocalypse he sighed

alright get ready he throws the sack to me i purposely keep my hands on my legs  so the sack hits my head causing me to fall back hitting my head on the stone cold floor i heard issac panicking my eyes closed this time when i opened my eyes i was on a bed i smiled to myself knowing exactly where i was

Eric! i called knowing he would be here he slowly walked in the room

your really here i can see you

yeah i'm here

how is that possible ?

well i uh passed out

again what the hell are you and Negan up to?

it wasn't Negan i told someone to throw a heavy sack to me but i didn't hold my hands up

lily i really love you and i love that i can see you right now but you can't purposely hurt yourself to see me i started crying

but i need you 

i'm here with you always no matter where you are even if you can't see me you mean the world to me so i beg you stop making yourself pass out i don't want you to hurt yourself for me it's not worth it 

you are

lily you need to wake up now

i don't want to 

what if Negan saw you lying on the floor unresponsive imagine how that would feel

okay i'll wake up 

don't worry you will see me again

i hope so i closed my eyes when i opened them i saw issac and Negan was pissed i could tell

holy shit lily this is crazy he picked me up and brought me to his bed lying me on it i sat up cross legged he sat next to me

we should talk

about what?

what just happened

it's nothing 

it's not nothing i went to your room you weren't there i go to mine your not there i ask some of my men they tell me they saw you helping someone with their job so i go to look for you i practically had a heart attack seeing you on the floor not moving  issac said you had passed out for about five minutes when i got there so in total you were out for a whole ten minutes so are you really going to tell me it wasn't nothing

i fell and hit my head

i know issac told me he also said you wanted him to throw a sack to you but you didn't put your hands up to catch it 

so there you know what happened 

we aren't done

what more could you possibly want from me

i want to know what happened with you in those ten minutes

i saw Eric 

i know that you miss him but this is wrong you can't keep doing this cause one day you won't wake up from it  

 i don't see that as horrible i would be happy

  and if i lose you i have nothing left nothing that would stop me from killing everyone i wouldn't feel a damn thing even if i killed all the humans that are surviving i wouldn't care  i started to get annoyed 

Negan you don't understand!! you don't understand what feeling like your not loved by your family is like! or when you finally have someone that loves you have them taken from you! you have never felt so alone that if you killed yourself today no one would even notice you have always had people around you i haven't you don't know what it feels like to lose the love of your life and the only way you can see them again is by passing out 

i never told you this but i had a wife her name was lucile i was screwing around on her she was sick just before all this zombie shit 

did she make it?

what do you think have you seen a women named Lucile walking around the sanctuary 

no that's why you treat the bat as if it were a person

she was my wife my real wife i'm not saying this to hurt you in any way i'm saying it because i love you and i don't want to lose you i put my hand on his

you won't sometimes i forget that your here with me that i'm not on my own 

your never alone 

hey is lily okay? sherry said coming in the room

yeah i'm fine i just had a moment that's all 

where's Lucile?

um i'm not sure i think dwight has it 

he better have been nice with her Negan got up leaving the room sherry sat on the bed

did i interrupt something? she asked

no he's like a dad to me

that's some weird dad

how

for one thing not many dad's have seen their daughter in nothing but underwear and he thought it was for him

no he didn't

then why did he say not now later

oh god your right and he tells me he loves me and doesn't want to lose me i kissed him in Alexandria he fed me spaghetti that's what daryl's problem was shit

you kissed him that's normal

is it normal if it lasted more than 5 seconds and it was on the lips

crap 

it's my turn to say it crap crap crap crapedy crap what do i do?

i don't know 

he told me about his real wife and everything what if he wants me to be his wife

you have to be subtle but make it clear that you don't feel that way towards him

what if he get's angry and puts me in a cell

i doubt he would do that 

i also didn't think he would brutally murder someone what can i say Negan is full of surprises