Help me Negan

i opened my eyes i couldn't move or see anything and it was cold i think i'm lying down flat on some kind of table my hands and feet tied to it 

finally your awake i turn my head to where the voice came from

rick what the hell!

you were passed out for a while 

how long?

an hour maybe two

time went so fast i whispered under my breath

i guess you had fun with Eric my eyes dart to him

how do you know about that?

you told me 

no no i didn't 

well technically you told Daryl but it was me when you hit your head in the forest my whole body stiffened 

why the hell did you hit me and bring me here

you know why!

you have no reason to!! 

Maggie's friend is dead lily

i know but i didn't kill him neither did i tell Negan to do it

you didn't do anything about it

neither did you!

why couldn't you have just left him alone he was fine as soon as you turn up now he's dead!

it isn't my fault that Negan killed him!

you are the reason he fucking killed Daryl! and you! you forgive him straight away you didn't care about Daryl at all you just wanted to make Negan jealous!

that's not true! i did care for Daryl! and i i didn't just forgive him i haven't actually said it's okay i forgive you to him cause i would be lying! i know what Negan is really like you see the guy in the leather jacket boots a baseball bat i see under that he's not as awful as you think

wow lily all it takes is for a guy to get you laid and you are wrapped round his finger

i haven't slept with him i don't feel that way about him

good he said simply 

why is that good? 

because he could manipulate you 

why do you care? you want me dead

that's true but everyone deserves to be saved from Negan even you

i appreciate that but i'm not in danger he doesn't hurt me he loves me 

lily i wouldn't be too sure about that he has you trapped in the sanctuary 

why do you think that?

because if you weren't you would try to see Carl

it doesn't matter if i tried to see him i would be killed on the spot

that's right but the problem is is that you care for him right?

yeah i do more than anything what does that have to do with anything?

cause he can't love 

of course he can love he loves me

do you really believe that?

yes no what's your point?

he can't love no one who is capable of love can stand in front of someone and bash their head in with a smile on their face 

he did that because you blew up a shit tone of his men 

i'm trying to save you lily i'm not your enemy

by saving me you mean hitting me on the head and tying me to a table

you are a part of Negan's board game we all are

what do you mean?

you think he loves you right?

yeah he does

but he doesn't your just a chess piece in his game nothing more 

Rick Negan loves me you don't see it but i do

your not getting it "loving" you is part of the game he makes you fall in love with him and then he crushes you like a falling building i just lay there silent maybe he's right 

end it i said after a long silence

end what?

me if what your saying to me is true i have reason to live i only haven't killed myself yet because i have Negan if i hadn't had him i would be with Eric right now 

time skip(2 weeks later)

it's been days he hasn't came to get me every hour that i don't see him i believe rick more i don't want to but it's just how it is both Carl and rick have been bringing food to me Carl cleaned my wounds 

we are doing the right thing

i know carl 

(next chapter is in Negan's pov!!!!!)