Hey, so this is a new imagine. I've been a little lost on what to write and I've been busy.
About this imagine: This imagine is called a GTS, which means you have to Guess The Ship. It's also staged in the future year, 2019. Good luck.
It's hard to think of you. It's hard to smile and not think of the times you complimented it. It's hard to see the same walls and know you're not here with me. It's hard to be in love with you when you're nowhere to be found.
May 25, 2019.
I'm writing this down because I never want to forget this. He will always be a part of me. He will always own my heart, which feels numb at this point. He will always be there, never leaving me. The difference is, he did leave but I can still feel him in my heart, watching. I'm not sure how I feel about that but if I didn't feel him, I knew it would be over between us. I'll write more soon.
May 28, 2019.
It's been 8 months without him and I feel numb. I've eaten but I just can't somedays, when I would remember our mornings together. He would try to distract me by placing soft kisses to my cheek, neck and a slip of the lips here and there. I would giggle because I'm a little ticklish.
When the food was ready, he would sit and just to annoy him, I would sit on the opposite side of the table. The one thing that he couldn't stand was not feeling my body heat close to his. So he up and moved to my side, directly beside me. He would eat with one hand while tracing random shapes on my sweatpants leg.
I would get annoyed at times with his obsession to be close to me but I understand now. I want him hugging me and tracing silly shapes on my legs. I want to know what comfortable felt like again.
I felt a little bad today so I wrote this. I don't want to forget the memories he gave me.
June 29, 2019.
It's been a little while since I've wrote and I still haven't found him. I don't think I'll ever get over him. I don't think I want to. I was out last night with a friend, having a few laughs. I was hit with a memory of us dancing in the rain. I had to stop and run from the memories. The memory imprinted itself in my barin and I fell asleep with him on my mind.
We once danced in the rain, which meant I got a cold. The reason we danced is because we were talking about the movie, "The Notebook," and how they layed in the street. I thought it was adorable and I wished I could do that with someone. He grabbed my hand and told me I could do it with him.
When we walked into the street, he told me to dance with him. So, I danced. We danced until a police officer came and told us to go home. We walked back to the flat and just curled up on the couch, talking till early morning.
The next day, I got a cold. He blamed himself but I told him I needed that. I thanked him for being there for me. He thanked me for giving him the time to spend with me.
My heart still feels numb. I don't think I want my heart to beat again. I don't want it to, not without him.
August 16, 2019.
Slowly, I stop looking for him everywhere I go. I sometimes look around for him but I stop myself before the lads see me. They know I'm struggling at times so they try to help me. When he left, they struggled. Our manager told us we needed a new member in the band but we declined. We had hope he was coming back to us, to me.
I keep having these flashbacks of memories. I remember when the band would record so many things for Youtube. We barely post anymore. We can't bare to fake our laughs to the camera, to the roadies. We haven't recorded anything since then.
