Start Over Again

VII

                 I looked over at the clock and saw it was 7:30 and the lads were meeting Joe at 10:30. Rolling out of my bed, I walked over to my wardrobe and pull d out my clothes for a day of traveling. I put on some black leggings, my (Blake's) grey hoodie and my black and white checkered vans. The one thing I had tried to shake from my mind all night was pulling me in more. I pulled the bag out from underneath my bed and grabbed the sparkly pink book from inside; flipped to the middle page.

              January 18th 2016: 6:00am: Hey! I woke up super early today so I could get in a gym sesh before school. I've lost so much weight since last year and I'm so happy with how I look lately. Anyway see you after that.

             I walked into the gym just near the school and was greeted by the receptionist. "Hey Deanna! Can't believe you've made it in here early everyday day this month! I'm so proud of you." She said, smiling at me. "Thanks! I'm proud of me too! See you after!" I replied skipping into the gym hall. There was only a few people at this time in the morning, so I walked over to the treadmill. Putting on my beats headphones, I began running.
              About 45 minutes later, my head started to spin so I stopped and grabbed my water. After a few minutes I didn't feel any better so I walked towards the reception. I walked home and the fresh air made me feel better.

               8:01am: I'm sitting on my bed now because I had to come home. I've never felt this ill after a session. My heads spinning and I feel so sick. I think Blake is coming home soon so I'll be ok when he's back.

            Making it back into my house was a godsend; after that workout I needed a good rest. I unlocked my door and smiled as I felt the familiar warmth of home engulf my body, but this relaxation didn't last much longer. Halfway up the stairs my head started to pound and I stopped and gripped it in an attempt to steady the slowly spinning world around me. Carefully I made my way to the top of the stairs, but it only got worse. I stumbled into my room after struggling to find the doorknob due to my head swimming and didn't even think to close the door behind me. Looking up it felt like ten tonnes of bricks had just been dropped on my head and the light hurt my eyes, and I instantly wished I hadn't. The world almost looked like it was morphing into unidentifiable shapes as my head continued to spin and spin, only faster and faster, and my deep desperate breaths continued, faster and faster. I attempted to find my bed to lay down because it was becoming overwhelming but it didn't even look like I was in my room anymore. Eventually my surroundings became so jumbled that I couldn't handle it, and I found myself staring at the ceiling - and then it all went black...

            Aware of what was going on around me I tried to sit up. But I couldn't move a muscle. I was stuck on the floor almost paralysed. I heard what I thought was my door open and footsteps frantically run towards me. "Omg Deanna what have you done?" It was B. He rang Mam and told her to meet us at the hospital. I felt the pain in every word he spoke. I don't mean to break him.
             The next thing I knew, the paramedics were lifting me onto a stretcher. Blake didn't leave my side. He just cried and cried. Apologising over and over again. I don't understand why. This isn't his fault. I'm just having a bad black out. I'm sure I'll be ok.                   
Reawakening in a hospital bed, I turned to my right. There sat the two most important people in my life. In absolute tears and I had no idea why.  "Deanna darling you're awake thank god!" Soulls cried, grabbing my hand. Blake looked at me, his eyes red and puffy, face swollen and limp; he walked out of the room. "Sweetheart. I know you've worked hard for this and I'm so proud of you but you can't do this much exercise and dieting. That's why you've had such a severe black out. They think you may have a small form of anorexia..."

            A sudden thud threw my bedroom door open, scaring the life out of me. There in front of me stood the tall, brown haired boy looking extremely confused. To be honest, so am I. But I know this is for the best for a while. He stared at me for a little longer before questioning my actions. "Deanna... why is you're bag packed? Why do you have that diary?" Blake said, tilting his head, puzzled. I sighed and gave a faint smile. "B! I miss home a bit too much lately. I know I promised I'd stay here until you left for tour but I want to be home for a little longer before moving in here indefinitely. You guys will hardly be here this summer and I don't know how I'll cope here alone all the time. Don't worry I'll visit you on the Newcastle and Manchester dates." I tried not to cry as his facial expression dropped. He just ran towards me and pulled me into the biggest and tightest hug. Moments later, I felt another set of arms wrap around the back of my body. Judging by the familiar, welcoming, smell it was George joining in. It was then Reece grabbed the back of Blake pulling us all in. "Come on then. Let's take you to the station."

              "The train will now be arriving at Newcastle Central Station, Platform 5 from Manchester. We hope your travel was comfortable and that you enjoy the time at your destination. Have a nice day."

                I walked up the drive way after paying for my taxi. Instantly feeling better in myself as the familiar surroundings dragged me in toward the door. I put my key in the lock and pushed it open.

"I'm home!"

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Shoutout to kindaaalright for actually writing a part of this for me whilst i had severe writers block. She's amazing. X