CRY

Chapter 1

"You could hear their voices..."

Resentment
Hatred
Judgement

Those were a few of the things that targeted Jungkook.
It didn't matter how hard he tried or how desperately he wanted to remove his existence. It was his shadow, but it never leaves him in the dark; it's always there.

Jungkook has been through a lot,
No one really understands him,
No one really knows him,
Carrying all this burden on his shoulders has taken a toll on him.

It led to self harm and suicide attempts..

'why is the universe still holding on to a useless soul?'

His cold eyes gleamed over the sharp stainless steel that laid before him. He wanted to grab its handle and pierce its end into his chest, but something was holding him back...
But he had nothing to live for right?
No one cares about him...

He was an orphan, he had no parents to love and raise him.

They died when he was only 9 years old; but the memory was quite vivid, everything in detail. He could remember all the events in chronological order.

It wasn't because he had no parents that caused him to be lonely in his childhood.
It was his behavior.

People thought that it was because of his lack of friends that made the boy depend on his imagination to keep him company.
He did not manage to make one friend solely because everyone  resented him.

Ugly
Useless
Disgusting

He could hear the words roll off their tongues, but it didn't matter anymore, it had lost it's purpose, it's true meaning...

You can't break something that's already broken.

More thoughts flooded into his head.

He took the knife and placed it back in the kitchen.

'Why am I hesitating? Why can't I just end my meaningless life?! Why do I have to suffer?! Why?! Why?! Why aren't my questions being answered?!  Why is this happening to me?!'

His breath became laboured.

It got worse, his panic attacks...

His chest tightened, squeezing the air out of his lungs. He began to hyperventilate.

He was happy; he thought death was here to get him...

He was in pain, it suddenly felt hard to breath.
He panicked, he didn't want to die...

'Isn't this what you wanted?!'
His conscience screamed at him.

'no I don't wanna die this way!'

It was very rare that he showed determination. Especially when it concerned life and death.
But why did he want to live now?
What changed his stubborn mind?

From that point he remembered nothing but the darkness engulfing his vision

___

He woke up on the cold tile floors of his apartment.
Of course, what else was there to expect?
Worried parents?
Friends?
Concerned neighbors?

Oh yea...
He didn't have any of those

Realization dawned upon him once more. He couldn't take it anymore.

He let the tears fall...

__