Don't Get Angry

28- Otis: Not Worth It

I laid on my bed tapping my fingers against my chest and staring at the ceiling. I looked at my phone beside me on my bed and thought about calling Dalta. But just the thought of her name made me irritated. My phone buzzed. I quickly picked it up and looked at it. I sighed then sat up and got out of bed.

I walked out of the house. My sister was sitting on the front porch staring at her new phone with a pout. I looked at her, then at the car across the street. Angie groaned then began to text someone. She shook her head and mumbled under her breath. I stared at her. "You okay, Angie?"

"I'm fine, Ten-head. Mind your own business!"

I glared at her and rolled my eyes. "Little brat." I walked down my front steps and made my way to the red car across the street. I took a deep breath then walked over to the car getting in. I shut the door then turned to Taylor. "Hey."

She smiled. "Hi."

I gulped and fastened my seat-belt.

My house became distant and I began to speak. "I know what you're doing," I looked at her.

She lifted a brow. "I do a lot of things. Be more specific."

"Threatening Dalta like that..." Her posture grew more upright and her eyes widened more than usual. "You couldn't even do it yourself, you had to bring someone."

"I don't know what you're-"

"I don't know what you think that threatening her would do. I mean, if you did it to get me back then you're not very smart." I shook my head then looked down.

"That's...that's not why I brought her." She sighed. "I don't think you get it. Maybe it's because you're a guy. But it's terrible when you like someone and there's someone else who just keeps...showing up."

I looked at her.

Her eyes darted around outside at the tall trees. We pulled over to the sidewalk. The area was secluded and barely any cars past by at that time in the afternoon. She turned to me. "And then it's so much harder when they tell you that there's nothing going on between them and that person...and then you find out that there is."

I looked down. "I know you think I don't know what that feels like, because you think I'm selfish, but I do."

"What?" She scoffed and folded her arms. "Does Dalta like someone else? Is that why you called me?"

I looked at her. I felt my eyes begin to burn. "I don't know why I called you..." I felt a tear run down my cheek and quickly wiped it.

Her cold expression turned to concern and I began to feel embarrassed.

"I just feel like an idiot...I keep meeting people...and getting disappointed. Because I feel like I'm a problem."

"Otis." She reached over and held my hand. "Why would you think that?"

"I don't know. After my dad...it just feels like most people leave, and others stay because they're stuck with me or something. It's just this constant feeling at the back of your mind that everyone will leave as soon as they get the chance to."

She sighed, then held my hand on her cheek. "You're wrong," she assured me with a sad smile. "You're not a problem... I want you around. Dalta might not...But I do."

I frowned.

"Forget about her. She doesn't deserve you." She scoffed. "I probably don't, but at least I want you."

We stared at each other then she began to lean closer to me. I furrowed my brows about to tell her to stop but I then thought about Dalta. She broke my heart. Deep down I knew she didn't care about waiting to date. She liked Peter after everything he'd done. And then Todd constantly dropping everything to help her. She used Todd. She used people. She used me and it angered me. I stared at Taylor then quickly leaned over letting her kiss me.

***

I sat in the back seat with my head against the window. I stared outside as we drove. Everything was quiet...still. Taylor didn't say a word either. She just sat there, driving silently. My mother's voice in my head kept repeating the same question; "Was it worth it?" I sighed and felt something in my throat. It wasn't puke. I was choking on tears. And for the first time in maybe a year...maybe two...or five, I began to cry. I sniffled and wiped under my eye.

"Are you still crying?" Taylor giggled and looked at me in the rear-view mirror, feeling sorry for me.

I didn't reply.

"Otis...I...I'm sorry. Okay? I shouldn't have laughed when you..."

I looked at my messed-up shirt. I wiped my cheeks. "It's fine... Just take me home."

We drove back without saying another word to each other. When we got to the house Dalta was going inside. I sighed out loud.

"What is it?" Taylor looked back at me.

"I don't want her to know that-"

"We're dating?" She shook her head in annoyance.

"No, Taylor. Look at my clothes!"

She looked at my shirt, then the back seat. She smirked and shrugged. "You threw up. Nothing to be embarrassed about."

"Really?" I scoffed and shook my head. I sighed then looked at Penny on her porch. "I have an idea."

* * *

I stood in Penny's shower running water and body wash on my skin. I would've used Peter's soap, but soap carries germs so I wasn't taking any chances with twice-a-week-Peter. I got out of the shower and dried my body then I grabbed some of his clothes Penny had left me and slipped into them. They were a bit large. But I couldn't care less at that point.

I made my way back to Penny's room. "Thank you." I clasped my hands and praised her.

She clicked her tongue three times and shook her head. "The things I do for my best friend." She sat on her bed beside Taylor.

I froze then put my hand on my chest. "Awe-"

"Not you. Dalta. It would break her heart if she found out."

"That Otis puked in my car because we almost had sex?" Taylor said boldly, not holding back a thing.

I rolled my eyes.

"I don't even get it. Why'd you throw up? Did I make you sick?" She slouched. "Like...are you disgusted by me or-"

"No!" I yelled. "...No. I just...Dalta got into my head."

Taylor rolled her eyes. 

"She talks about all this God stuff and marriage and then she threw up on her date and I have a weak stomach so I started thinking about it when we started making out and-"

"Otis!"

I shut my mouth.

"It's fine... I'm glad we didn't." Taylor stood. "I could tell you were angry and weren't thinking straight. Besides, your first time shouldn't be in the back of someone's car."

I nodded at her then looked at Penny.

Penny shook her head at me then glared at Taylor.

I cleared my throat. "I'm going home," I told her ignoring her warning. "Thanks for the shower. Please keep this between us."

"I will," Penny nodded.

I tilted my head. "Penelope?"

"I WILL!" She yelled with wide eyes. "Sheesh. I tell because I want to...I can control my mouth."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I disagree." I walked out of her room. Taylor followed behind me.

"Hey." she grabbed my arm and walked beside me. "Are we done with Dalta?"

I looked at her. "Yeah."

"You sure?"

I gulped. "I'm sure."