Don't Get Angry

51- Dalta: Cold Shoulder

I sat in the car putting the band-aids on my self-inflicted wounds. It felt as if my world had been put in an ice box. I didn't feel anything...I felt emotionless...dead. The feeling wasn't new to me. It came after every break down...every moment of life halting melancholy. It felt...like nothing; like I was nothing. I looked at Otis. Who would want to be burdened with someone who had these life halting moments of sadness?

Otis continued to drive; his eyes fastened on the road. He didn't look at me. He hated me...I hated me. I slowly put my leg down on the floor flinching at the stinging on my thighs. Otis looked at my legs, then at me. He shook his head and turned away. I rolled my eyes and looked out the window.

"So..." Todd cleared his throat. "How long is this ride going to be and when do we take pee breaks?"

Everyone ignored him.

"Should I use a bottle-"

"Todd," Penny interrupted his joking. Todd was trying to lighten the mood. I'm not sure how he thought joking about peeing in bottles would do that.

Otis scoffed and shook his head again. "Just answer me this... Why?"

I looked at him with narrowed eyes. "Why? Why what?"

"Why do you think that your life is worse than everyone else's?"

"Really?" "You don't even know me-"

"I know enough to know that you're not the broken person you act like you are. You're not suffering from anything. You have both parents and a roof over your head and good grades and friends who go out of their way for you. But the moment you get checked for your crap, you break down and act as if the world is out to get you."

I shook my head and the tears forming in my eyes refusing to dry. "You think I like feeling like this?"

He looked at me then turned to the road again shaking his head. "See? Do you see what I'm saying? You act like a drama queen. And you're using this whole depressed, suicidal act to justify your selfish attitude-"

"Why do you care?" I shouted. "Did you forget that you don't? ...If I did do something stupid like kill myself, you shouldn't care-"

"How full of yourself are you?"

I stared at him.

"Yes! Dalta, if you die, my life goes on. And so does Penny's and Todd's. But we were idiots! And we dropped EVERYTHING! Our education, our parents, EVERYTHING, to bring you out here. Because we cared about keeping you safe. And yet you don't care. I'm tired of you, honestly. You were my favorite person," he chuckled," but now..." His Adam's apple bounced on his throat.

"Otis," Todd mumbled from the back. "Don't say something you'll regret."

Otis gripped the wheel. He squeezed his eyes shut. "Who's staying with her?"

"What?" Penny's heavy, teary voice was barely there.

"Who's staying with her once we get to the motel? Because I'm done. I'm going back home."

I felt my heart turning to mush.

"I can't even look at...," he squeezed his eyes shut again. "I'm so stupid-"

"OTIS!" Penny screamed.

His eyes shot open.

We had sped through a red light.

I gripped my chest. "Oh my God!" I turned to him. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"

Otis shook his head. "I thought you wanted to die."

I sank, putting my feet up on my seat and my arms around my legs. I leaned up against the door and wept silently. My tears ran down my thighs, the salt burning my cuts. The car was quiet. All I could hear was my crying. It felt as if I was alone. Because I was. Even though I had three other warm bodies in the car with me...my mind felt alone.

* * *

Penny rubbed my shoulder. "Hey." I opened my eyes and looked around. We were at a new motel. "Come on." Penny held my hand. I slowly got out of the car. I followed her into a motel room.

Peter sat on the bed. "Hey, Dee." He gave me a sad smile.

I sighed. "You're here for Otis."

"I'm actually here for Penny and Todd."

I froze. My brows fell.

Otis walked into the room with a key in his hand and an ice pack on his eye. He looked at me then looked down shoving his hand in his pockets.

"Betty's dad is in the hospital," Peter said with confidence in his voice. "I -uh... When I got back to the house, I drove him there. He said he wasn't going to tell anyone about that I had messed up his face...I guess he'd rather make up some lie than have his reputation ruined."

I looked at Otis. He kept his eye on the floor, the other still covered. I looked at Peter. "What about Chad? D-does he know about the money?"

Peter lifted his eyebrows and chuckled. "Yeah...but people seem to care so much about their image in our town that they're willing to risk everything for it. I walked past him today... He didn't say a word to me. Ethan says Taylor told him that Chad's too scared to tell his parents about Betty. He's willing to throw away the three years of college money they gave him. He's going to have to get a job."

I felt my day brighten up a bit. I looked at Otis again. He hadn't moved. It seemed like that wasn't news to him.

"It's a long drive home so... I'll start heading back. I'll keep in touch with Otis."

"My parents-"

"Are pissed." Peter nodded. "Your mom attacked Otis' mom because she thought he pressured you into running away. But I spoke to them. And they know that I'm keeping in touch. They think you guys are searching for Betty. Which is what you're doing, but we're not bringing her home."

I pursed my lips and frowned. "Yeah."

Peter stared at me. He suddenly walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me. "Thank you...I don't know if I've said it, but...thank you." He stepped back, keeping his hands on my shoulders. He touched my cheek then walked away.

Penny walked over to me and hugged me. She kissed my cheek. "Bye, love."

"Where's Todd?" I looked around the room.

"Heartbroken," Penny nodded with a frown.

"Over what?"

Penny stared at me then looked at Otis. She looked at me again. "Don't worry about it. Just... We'll keep in touch, okay?"

I nodded. "Bye."

They walked out of the room and shut the door. I looked at Otis. "What happened to your eyes."

"Don't worry about it."

"Everyone's been saying that this entire time while lying to me."

He ignored me and walked over to two suitcases and opened a pink one.

I furrowed my brows. "Where'd-"

"Your parents sent them." He took out a pair of pajamas. "You should shower-"

"I can choose my own clothes-"

"I know that. You can do everything on your own. But I can't stop caring... So, let me do this."

I stared at him. "I know I have problems-"

"We both do," he looked at me. "I need someone who would...calm me down...and you need someone who cares enough."

My brows arched.

"That's why I stayed. It's why... Todd's upset."

I sat on the bed. "I don't understand."

He stared at me. "Go shower. Okay?"

I took the clothes then stood. I walked over to the bathroom confused.