Draco Malfoy and the Alcoholic's Wish

The offending tattoo

As soon as Dr Anxious left, Snape miraculously appeared as though he was waiting behind the door for her to leave. "So? Do you want to see her again?"

"I... I guess I didn't mind it as much as I thought I would" I mumbled. "I don't like it though. It's been twenty-four hours now, hasn't it? Can I leave?" He hesitated, and my heart dropped. I probably shouldn't have kicked his nose earlier.

"Madame Pomferey needs to give you a check before you leave" he warned, sitting down in the orange plastic chair and rubbing his eyes. His sleeve tipped, and I saw down his arm, the tip of a black ear pressed into his skin.

"Sev... what is it tattooed on your arm?"

Almost immediately, his neck snapped, looking at me as if I'd sworn. "I don't see how it's any of your business-"

"I've already seen it" I added, my curiosity making me daring. "It's two deer, one with a crown, one with green eyes-"

"That was none of your business!" he shouted suddenly, standing up and throwing his arms down by his sides, to make sure the offending tattoo was covered up, though we'd just agreed there was no point. I continued to pester adamantly- he had uncovered just about every little bit of dirt on me- why couldn't I do the same back?

"Your Patronus is a doe!" I shouted. "And I know you're the half blood prince, I know one of them is meant to represent you! Who is the other doe meant to be?"

"A woman" he replied, and I was shocked and scared to see tears in his eyes- actual tears- the man who's dominant emotion was indifference, seconded by anger and triumph, was openly crying in front of me, his eyes alive and blazing, willing me to defy him. "Her name was Lily. Lily Evans. She's the woman I loved, the reason I never married, because I couldn't have her, so I was a selfish git and allowed Voldemort to kill her husband In the process, though I begged, he took her life too. I killed her."

Without warning, he sank back down into the chair and covered his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking as he sobbed. Carefully, I crept out of bed and tentatively patted his shoulder, willing for him to stop, as I had no idea how to deal with other people's emotions.

"She was Harry's own mother" he wept, and my heart skipped a beat. "And I lead Voldemort right into her because I wanted her as my own. She was my best friend- my only friend, but my feud with her husband was stronger than my love for her. That and my hunger to be under Voldemort's wing"

"That's...." I tried to find the right word to say- creepy sounded a bit insensitive. "That's... I'm sure she would have understood if she was in your shoes."

"No, she would have hated me. She died to protect her son, and I couldn't even help her with that. I made his life hell too, but every time he looked at me- he had his mother's eyes, she had this huge, green eyes that conveyed love, anger, whatever she was feeling, it the one thing you remembered about Lily- aside from her immense loyalty and kindness to those who plainly didn't deserve it- such as myself. He had his mother's eyes."

"Then make it up to her- to him- to both of them" I decided, and he looked through his fingers, looking for the world like a broken man. "Stop moping around like a ghoul that's still corporeal. How has it taken eighteen years for someone to tell you to man up?"

"It's not quite that simple, is it-"

"And what do you propose you do instead, then?" I challenged. "I was right, Sev, you are so wrapped up in death it consumes you." I pulled his hands away from his eyes and glared at him. "What? What did you expect? You give a whole speech about how you killed the woman you loved, make it seem all ok by saying you knew she was kind and perfect and smart, but you still killed her! And what for? Not for power, or initiation, or through fear, like so many others around you, but plain spite! That's not heroic, you don't become the good guy you want to be by changing sides, you had to mean it!"