Strength |✔️

nine

Neil

It is 3 o' clock in the morning and I can't sleep at all. My room is dark, and my roommate on the other side of the room is sound asleep. He never speaks to me or acknowledges me, so I do the same. Hell, I don't even know his name.

I roll over on my bed on my back and look up at the ceiling. I can't sleep at all, man. I ruffle my hair and sit up. I go through my phone for a little and I linger over Alisha's name on my contact list. She's probably sleeping right now and I don't want to disturb her. Sighing, I think that I need to go for a run, maybe I'll be tired enough by then to go to sleep and be ready for this final in math coming up by the end of this week.

I pull on my running shorts and shoes. I like that I'm shirtless when I'm running. It feels good and my body relaxes. I stuff my phone and earbuds into my pocket, so when I get out of the UVA campus, I can put them on and begin my run. I quickly run out the door and into the parking lot, which leads to the exit of UVA.

Right when I'm nearing the fence, I hear noises coming from the parking lot. Confused and curious at the same time, I stop running and walk slowly towards the noises. Something is rattling in the direction in front of me, and I hear a voice. I don't recognize the voice at all, but it sounds really quiet, as if they are talking to themselves. I wonder what the rattling noise is, though.

I walk slowly, so i don't make any noises. When I get closer, I see the form of a small girl, about to stuff something in her mouth. That's when I start to get nervous and walk faster. Is that girl doing what I think she's doing?

Then, I see who it really is. I'm behind a car right now and I see Alisha, crying and debating whether or not she should stuff the pills in her mouth.

Pills? Alisha? Holy shit.

I jump from the car and scream, "No, Alisha!" And run to her, slapping the pills that were very close from her mouth. She had, like, ten in her hand. What the hell?!

I grab her hand in mine's and look into her eyes. They're red and her eyes are telling me that she's scared, furious, and anxious at the same time. Her face is covered in tears and her hands are shaking. She looks like hell, what is going on with her? I squeeze her hand to stop it from shaking.

"Neil, what are you doing?" she says softly. "What are you doing here?"

I scoff and shake my head and look into her eyes. "No, Alisha, what are you doing here? Overdosing? Committing suicide?" A tear falls from her eyes. I look at the prescribed bottle real closely. It says "PTSD Prescribed Medicine for Alisha Dave. Take daily in the morning."

"Alisha?" I say softly. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm sorry, Neil. I found out that I was losing weight a lot so I went to the doctor and she told me that I had PTSD and that I should take these pills." Her lips tremble as she speaks.

"Damn." I'm speechless. "But why were you about to overdose? Alisha, freaking hell, you were about to commit suicide?! Why would you?" My voice cracks.

"I had to. Don't you see that I don't belong here? In this world?" I rub her cheeks with my thumb. her cheeks are soft and chubby, but in a really cute way.

"Alisha, don't ever say that. You are so beautiful, and so strong. No one would ever have been able to survive what you've been through. Don't ever say that you don't belong in this world, because I know damn sure that you do." I squeeze her hands one more time and kiss it. "You promise that you won't ever say that?"

"But Neil, I-"

"Alisha." I pull her closer to me and hug her, tightly. She breathes into my neck, causing tingles to go through me. "Please. Say you promise. I can't afford to lose you, no one can."