Strength |✔️

twenty-eight

Alisha

I run my fingers through my hair and feel a sigh of relief once my dad is taken away. That's thirteen years of my stress, anxiety, and PTSD going along with him. Thirteen years of him tracking me, stalking me, creeping me. James takes a look at me, one final look that says "you won" and, to be honest, he is right. I have won. He may have killed and raped my mother and he may have shot the love of my life, but he is gone. Finally gone.

Once the police car goes away, I look over at Neil's family as they continue to mourn over Neil. I make my way over and see the ambulance truck where they are loading Neil into the back of the truck. "May I see him?" I ask desperately to the loading person. As the man answers me, Neil's dad steps in and says, "Ignore her, she doesn't deserve to see Neil."

My face turns red as his dad looks at me with anger. Just as he's about to yell at me or God knows what else he was about to do, Sheila steps in and swoops me away from him. I immediately start bursting into tears, not realizing at all what I am doing, and I start to mumble incoherent sentences.

"I'm sorry I did this, Mrs. Shah," I sob. She hugs me as I sob into her shoulders. "It's okay, sweetie," she soothingly replies. "This not your fault, okay? That toxic man is out of your life, so you should be celebrating that."

"But, Neil..." I say, looking over to the ambulance truck. Sheila frowns and her face softens. "I am sure he will be fine," she says, but her voice cracks and a tear drops down from her eyes. I reassure her and Monika walks by, her eyes red. My heart immediately drops: her wedding. It's all ruined. I do wonder if the fire ceremony had finished; if it did then that will be a good thing because they would be married now. I see Raj at the other side talking to the guests and trying to distract them.

Monika walks up to me and looks at me that has no emotion, like she has no idea either to feel hatred or reassurance towards me. "I am so confused, Alisha," she says to me solemnly. Her beautiful makeup is now drenched dreadfully on her face, and her hair sticks up in opposite directions. I really regret ruining her wedding, ruining the most important day of her life. If I hadn't shown up, none of this would have happened. If he hadn't shown up, none of this would have happened.

"What happened?" she continues saying to me. I just walked in the room and I saw, I don't even know, I saw Neil covered in blood," she shakes her head as if she couldn't believe what she said or even saw, "and I don't even know, Alisha, please explain to me." Monika looks at me with desperation, desperation for an answer. But honestly, I don't even know how to respond to her question because I, myself, don't know the answer to that specific question. 

I start to say something, but then I hear the ambulance doors close. Sheila gasps and starts to run after the ambulance, but then I grab her and say, "don't worry, auntie. We can go in my car and go to the hospital ourselves."

Sheila immediately nods her head and I look over to Monika, eye contacting with her if she wants to come with me. As she starts to say something, Neil's dad blurts out from the other side, "Monika is coming with me." He glares me down and I look over at Monika. Monika takes a look at me and walks over to her dad. I sigh.

Sheila whispers to me, "It's okay, Alisha. Just give them space, alright?" I nod my head. She smiles at me reassuringly and says, "It will all be good. Neil will recover, okay? He is a very strong boy." What she said, actually reassured me though. Yet, I wonder how she manages to stay positive in the most stressful situations.

I lead her to my car and she sits in the passenger seat. I quickly set my gears and start driving to the hospital, immediately wiping my tears away.

*****

Once we pull up to the hospital, I grab Sheila's hand once I get out of the car and I help her get up. I know, that after seeing Neil she will feel weak in her legs. And I know that for a reason because that's the same way I feel whenever I think or "see" mom.

Sheila looks at me generously and caresses my cheek. "Alisha, I know this is not your fault. And I'm sorry if Sanjay and Monika are blaming this whole situation on you. They will understand."

I nod my head. "It's okay, Sheila."

I lead her into the hospital entrance. Immediately we see numbers of people in the waiting room. Some are weeping, some look stressed. Some look like they are out of it, and some just look dead. The hospital reeks of surgeons, nurses, worried patients and people just running around crazily. I guess that is how most hospitals would look like.

I try to pull away Sheila from the chaos, so she doesn't get any mentally weaker than she is now. Squeezing her shaking hand, I go to the front office and nervously ask where Neil Shah is located.  The client looked at her clipboard and told me the room. I nod my head quickly and rush to the room itself.

"Oh, Alisha," Sheila tells me on the way. "I hope my Neil baby is okay, please tell me he's okay!" Her lips start trembling and she starts to pray. I reassure her by saying, "Sheila, he will be okay. Neil is strong. Physically and mentally," I add. Sheila chuckles and pats me on the shoulder. Then, we continue walking down the hall, looking for Neil.

The room number the client had told me was C112, and we are at C110. The next door reads C112, which is obviously Neil's room number. But as we're about to open the door, it bursts open and there are dozens of doctors wheeling a stretcher out of the room, screaming medical terms and running the stretcher to the ICU, which I heard them say. But when I look at who's in the stretcher...

It's Neil. My breath catches in my throat and Sheila sobs. She starts to run after the stretcher and the doctors, and I try to catch up to them as well. I want to go in with Neil. I want to be with him. I want to touch him. I want to see him.

I try to get a glimpse of Neil as I get near the stretcher. And when I finally do, I start sobbing as well. His beautiful black and messy hair is piled on his head. His peaceful eyes are closed, and his mouth his gaped open, as if he is in a peaceful sleep. His entire body is covered in tubes and bandages, and right in the middle of his chest is a huge wound, right where James had shot him.

Finally, they reach the hospital room. As they're about to close the ICU doors, I try to come in with them but the doctors wouldn't let me. "No visitors for this patient at the moment. His blood vitals are dropping low, and now's not the time. We'll let you know later how he is." Then he slammed the door in my face. How welcoming.

I exclaim and punch the wall in frustration. I wince as my hand makes contact with the wall and I start sobbing even more. Why did this have to happen? Why do all the people in my life keep going? Maybe I was right. Maybe all the people I get close with do end up leaving me. I was right the whole damn time.

Crying against the wall, Sheila comes up to me and leans her head on my shoulder. As we sit against the wall, Sanjay (who is Neil's dad's name) and Monika come running up to us, and look at us confusingly.

"Neil's in the ICU room and they won't let us go in." Sheila sniffles.

Sanjay says something, but then he sees Sheila leaning her head on my shoulder so then he immediately closes his mouth. Monika wipes her eyes, her bridal makeup still running all across her face. As I look at all these people in pain, including me, all I can think about is Neil, and how I need to him survive this. He needs to. I need to.

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A/N:

Okay, so as y'all can see, the tone of this whole story literally flipped upside down, so YIKES! Let's hope things get better for Neil's family, Neil himself, and Alisha!

Also, five more chapters to go! :(

-ru <3