Strength |✔️

thirteen

Neil

As Alisha walks away from me, tears start to form in my eyes. What have I done wrong? Is this what I get for confessing my feelings to a girl? I've never actually had a crush on a girl before. I mean, I've thought girls were cute or attractive, but I never fell for them. Not the way I fell for Alisha.

She just stood out from all the girls, according to me. She been through so much, and she managed to get right through it. Also even though she has PTSD, she is holding on so much, and that requires a lot of strength. My cheeks flush as I think of how I kissed her, and how amazing her lips felt against mine. It felt as if I was on Heaven, kissing the girl of my dreams, because she makes me so happy. But, when I confessed... she felt off. Like, she wanted to like me, but something was holding her back. I wonder what was holding her back though, and why.

I groan and lean my head back, looking at the sky. The moon glares back at me. I scowl and look back at the ground, leaning my elbows on my knees and processing what had happened in the past hour. I think of her sweet eyes as tears swarmed in hers, and I could see the pain in her eyes. I know we can make this happen; we can happen.

Immediately getting up from the bench, I start walking back to UVA. I need to get some sleep. And, oh shit, I have a math final tomorrow. I roll my eyes and think that I am going to be prepared and I need to chill. I really do, though.

I walk back, acknowledging the people on the sidewalks. They look like people that go to my college; and when I look closely, it actually is them. I see Nick making out with some girl in the most aggressive way possible and see that is not his girlfriend.

They broke up already? Or is he just cheating on her?

Before Nick can see me, I pull my hoodie up, covering my head, and walk faster. But suddenly, I hear Nick's voice. "Yo, Neil!"

I roll my eyes and flop my hoodie back and glare at him. "What is it, Nick?"

He whispers something to the girl. She nods her head and walks off. Why does he treat girls like that? Lying to them and everything? He walks over to me, a goofy grin forming. I could tell he's drunk because of his walk, and how he slurs his words. Also how his breath smells like vodka.

"Neil, Neil, Neil," he slurs. "What are you doing out here on a wonderful night, buddy?"

He places a hand on my shoulder and I quickly pull it away. "None of your business, Nick."

He laughs for a long time and later on chuckles. "You look crazy, bro. You're like-" he waves his hands- "You're like- there's like two of you dude." He giggles. "Crazy, bro."

I try not to slap him. "Nick, you are hella drunk. And what happened to your girlfriend? Are you cheating on her or something?"

He chuckles and stuffs his hands in his pocket. "She was getting too clingy. Kept calling me every five seconds." Nick shudders. "So I dumped her. Did me and her some good." He groans and chuckles again, looking down at the ground.

"You are a disgusting person," I spit out.

Nick laughs and looks at me. "Are you sure you're not talking to yourself?"

I take an aggressive deep breath and walk away immediately, pulling the hoodie back on top of my head. I'm already having a bad day, and I don't need Nick to make it even worse.

Once I reach my dorm, I jump on my bed and cry softly into my pillow so I won't wake up my roommate. It feels so good to cry, like, a weight is lifted off my shoulders. After I cry for about a minute or so, I take off my shirt and shorts and fall asleep, forgetting about everything and everyone.