Seven judges sat in council, preparing to give a man a "fair" trial. The joke here is these judges didn't want a fair trial. This man was a thief and a weasel and he deserved justice. So began the judgement of Fort Kino.
"Cesar Bossaru, you are here on... 164 accounts of petty thievery, ninety eight accounts of grand theft, seventy four accounts of bribery including three of the judges seated here tonight!" The first ugly bastard yelled rather violently near the end.
"Brady," A slightly heavyset judge said slowly. "We do not treat our testimonials this way."
Brady clearly did not like that statement.
"I will talk to him as I please, Jabba. Especially if he is going to die today!" Cesar became concerned by that statement immediately.
"Death? Who sa-" He was cut off, and rather abruptly.
"Shut up, you pig filth. you also have been charged with twenty three accounts of pillaging, twenty one accounts of murder, seventeen accounts of fraud and two accounts of rape. What's say you, Swine?" Brady was so close to Cesar's face that Cesar had to wipe his acrid spit from his cheeks.
"Well, I would first like to begin with the simple fact that due to my lack of funding, funding that should be provided to the people and are instead going to blobs like you,"-breath-"and put to no good use other than on criminals whose main offenses are petty thievery and bribery, I have resorted to a life of... relative criminal enterprises in order to cover the necessary funding cost of living in the poor economy we have as a result of the endless and vicious cycle in which I pay tax, you don't, and it all goes to you, who use it for nothing better to do than by the latest thing for"-breath-"your child to develop relative motor skills and basic cognitive brain skills in order to function properly in the future in order to live in a life of basic slavery because of the complete and utter waste of money, so yes, one could consider me a criminal but I would call it a way of life. Also, I can disprove one of the those accounts of bribery," He said.
Seven judges' mouths dropped. Brady's face got red.
"All judges who believe this- this man" he pointed at Cesar "Is guilty, please state it now. Guilty. Karum."
"Not guilty." One, one.
"Delekasu.'
"Not guilty." Two, we're doing good.
"Ponodex."
"Guilty." Problem, but still doing good.
"Sookmidik."
"Not guilty." Great! This is good.
"Kyos."
"Guilty." Crap. This... This is a problem. Down to the wire. Edgar sighed and shook his head.
"Jabba." Jabba smiled and cracked his neck loudly.
"Not guilty." Cesar was already out of the room when he said it. Of course, he was still in the fortress, but it was an easy matter to slip out. Particularly for Cesar, who in general was a sneaky guy. Actually, Cesar could've just snuck out of captivity and not even attended the judging, but when you fight authority, authority always wins.
"Get in there!" The guard demanded.
"You clearly lack the three propers," Cesar smirked.
"Get in the shackles or I'll s-," The guard was interrupted.
"Is that the supreme threat nowadays? I know a beautiful women, flowing hair, the stars shine in her-," Cesar monologued.
