I've been seeing Train Boy more and more!
Sorry. How rude of me. Hello, Diary. Have you had a good day? Done anything interesting with your life? Seen any incredible sights from your place on my window sill?
I was kind that way, wasn't I? Putting you somewhere that you could watch the world go by. I could have been really horrible and left you on the bookshelf with the rest of the books that I should have read, but haven't really gotten around to. Or I could have been even worse and locked you in my drawer to keep you safe from prying eyes and wandering noses. Or worse still. I could have disregarded your feelings and left you on the floor. Moochie would have had a field day with you, wouldn't he? Drooling all over your delicate pages, dragging you along to hold out to me as a sign of affection. When all he really would have done is just upset me for ruining the book that holds all of my life...
Went off on a tangent there, didn't I? All in the name of asking you, a colourful little Diary, whether you had a good day or not. If anyone read this, they'd think I'm mad. Talking to a diary like it's a real person...
But you are to me, Diary. You're my best friend. Sure, I've got Nat and Leanne, but even they don't know the things that you know. I can be pretty guarded when it comes to certain things, you know. I bet you don't believe me, since I spill my entire soul to you. But I can be. Really, I can. So to talk to you is almost a relief, as well as enjoyment. You let me ramble and ramble about nothing and everything. So why is it so strange for me to consider you my best friend?
Anyway. Enough of that, I think. I can feel you blushing at all the compliments. Don't lie to me, Diary. I know you as well as you know me. I've embarrassed you now. There's no need for you to be, of course. Everything I say is true. But you're a modest little book. And that's why I'm going to be kind and get on with what I planned to tell you.
Yes. As I said. I've been seeing Train Boy even more these days. Not only on our 'not-dates', but on the train too. Hence the continuation of Train Boy.
He quite likes it, you know. He says my London accent gives it a nice ring. Load of rubbish at all. When you compare my strong Cockney accent, developed from my wonderful father, to his divine Irish one, there's no comparison in the slightest. He wins the Accent Competition with flying colours and fluffy unicorns.
But if he likes it, he likes it. I won't deny him something that he seems to like about me. Not that I'm overly insecure or anything. I mean, I do wonder why someone like him would look to someone so quirky as me. I wear bright colours, dungarees, bobble beanies and long socks. Not always in the same outfit, of course. But you know what I mean. I stick out in a crowd most days.
He doesn't dress like that. Colours aren't really his thing. I'll occasionally see him in white or maybe blue on a rare day, but black is really his thing. Not in that gothic way. Although he's as pale as the make up that one girl at school used to put on her face. That was so many years ago...dear me.
Sorry. Sidetracked again. I've seen him more. And we talk a lot too. Been on some more 'not-dates' too.
They aren't dates. You want to know why I keep saying that? He hasn't ever said the word to me. He just says 'hang out'. Now, in my world, a guy who wants to go on a date with a girl calls it 'a date'. Not asks them to 'hang out'. Okay? So quit nagging me!
Sorry. I didn't mean to snap. I've just been getting a lot of grief from Nat and Leanne about it. Calling him my boyfriend and all that. When he isn't. And it's just tiring now.
I don't know if you know what that's like, Diary. I don't know if you've ever actually liked someone the way I like him. I know I've not spent much time with him, but I really do like him. But he can't know that, because he doesn't feel the same way. He hasn't once tried to kiss me, not held my hand, not done anything remotely couple like. And then to have your friends nag you all day, every day about him...
It hurts a bit, you know? They call him my boyfriend, and I want to tell them that they're right. My life, I would probably do anything to call him my boyfriend. Well, not anything. I wouldn't murder. Or steal. Or anything against the law. But if it was within my capabilities and all that stuff, then I would do it. To call Daniel O'Donoghue my boyfriend would be possibly one of the most perfect things to do in life.
But I can't do that. Because he isn't. He isn't my boyfriend. He's just a boy that's a friend, and that's about it.
No one believes me though. Because I spend so much time talking about him and laughing at the random texts he sends me during the day, they think I'm lying. And that makes this feeling worse, you know? When you want something so much but it won't happen, and then it's rubbed in your face...You don't know the pain, Diary. Be lucky you're only made out of paper.
You believe me though, don't you? You understand that Danny isn't my boyfriend, don't you? You won't torment me with endless questions, will you? Because I'm tired of it now. And you're the only one I can turn to...
Thanks, Diary. I knew I could count on you. You're the best, you know that, right?
Dear me. This entry got rather glum all of a sudden didn't it? So not like me at all. I'm sorry, Diary. It started off so well. And then...well yeah. It all went a bit to shit. Never mind, eh?
I think I'd probably better go now. I'll just make it worse if I keep on going like this. Let's face it, Diary. He would never want to go on a date with me. I'm too much of a weirdo for him to even consider it an option. And everyone will laugh and joke and...
Oh my God. Oh my God! Diary...Diary you'll never guess what! Guess guess guess guess guess guess guess! Too slow.
Danny asked me on a date!!!!!!!
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Breathe, Clara. Breathe, you silly moo. You can't go on a date if you're dead now, can you? No, so pull yourself together and answer him. Come on. Do it. One, two, three...
What do I say? My God, what on earth do I say? I mean, I've been asked out on dates before by people in the past. But that was sort of 'hey, want a date?' in a primitive grunt or 'I don't suppose you fancy meeting up for a drink as a sort of, you know, date?' in a more posh totty voice. This was just a simple text:
“Up for another date, Train Girl?”
Logical thing would be yes, of course I would. But how casual do I make it? How cool do I play it? How do I word it? How, how, how, so many how's!
Oh man up, Clara. It's a text. He won't see your face. It really doesn't matter. Yes type out a simpleI yes and click send. That's all you need to do. Maybe add one of your complimentary smiley faces, and jobs a go. Come on. Do it...Do...it...
Done! Ah! God! It's done! I'm going on a date! I'm going on a date! I'm going on a date! Wahhhh!
I have to tell Nat. And Leanne. They'll need to know. And they'll have to help me dress. And breathe. They'll have to help me breathe...
I've got to go, Diary. I need to figure it all out. Wish me luck! Love you loads!
Clara x
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A/N - Hey guys. So here's another diary entry. I wasn't really sure where I was going with this for a while, but I think I managed to pull it back towards the end. So Dan officially asked Clara on a date. I thought it was a bit of a filler, but hey. Not all diary entries are full of stories. This was more to understand her and all that stuff. So yes. I hope you like it. I feel like it may have fallen flat at the end, but I'll just wave it off with the words 'she was in a rush'. Yep. Done. That's it! So yeah. I'll go now HA! Vote, comment, do your thing. Much love x
