Astray (See No Evil Book Two)

Chapter Two

I've been sitting in this shelter for hours, not knowing what else to do. I have nowhere to go and barely any money to even feed myself. I know there's people out there who struggle but they still manage to have guidance on how to make ends meet. I don't have that. My whole life has been a series of bad luck. Nothing good has happened to me since I was born obviously. I blame it on my mother, whoever she is. I only talked to her sparingly through letters, so I can't say I really know her. She would tell me that I could visit her, and she would answer any questions I would have but I never went. Not saying I have a hatred for her, because according to the story she told me none of this was her fault, but I can't help but feel some type of way. The system is hell and if she had an option to not put me through that and she didn't choose that option, she's more fucked up than I thought she was. Still, I need to know for myself. Better to hear it out of the horse's mouth.

I quickly took a shower in the small bathrooms they have set aside for the homeless. One guy had been staring at me the entire time I've been here, so the quicker I get gone, the better. I carry a knife on me always for niggas like him. The ones who sneak up on you and try to force their wishes and desires on you. New York is a crazy place and you must always protect yourself. I had to teach myself that at a young age. One day when I was coming from school, some perv tried to snatch me up and put me in his creep mobile. I screamed from the top of my lungs and scratched up his face as much as I could. I remembered seeing on those crime shows that when you die, they check under your finger nails for DNA. So, if I just so happened to get knocked off at least the feds would be able to find the fucker. Unless he cut my fingers off or something. Luckily for me, some guy was walking by and he saved me. It was kind of like I knew him, but I couldn't place where I knew his face from. I never saw my local superhero again after that. I was ten at the time.

I put the straps of my bag on my shoulders and headed out the shelter to walk to the nearest train station. I remembered from the letters than my mother was at the Lincolns Correctional Facility on west 110th street. I hope I can get there before visitation is over. The cab zoomed through traffic and I thought of all the things I wanted to ask my mother. Like if there was a possibility she was going to get out and what really happened to her. I'm not stupid and from how those people at my aunt were acting and the shit Nancy said, something wasn't told to me correctly. I feel like I'm at least owed the truth.

I walked into the visitation area and sat down, waiting to see my mother for the first time. I don't know why, but I made sure my hair was neat and my clothes were how they needed to be. This is the woman that gave me life, and this is the first time I'll be seeing her. I don't know why I care but I do.

A woman approached the table and slowly sat down. She looked like tears were forming in her eyes, but she was afraid to let them fall. She gave me a smug smile and folded her hands on the table.

"Hi Simone".

"H-Hazel, right?"

"You can call me mom if you want".

"I'd rather not".

She pushed her hair back off her face and nodded.

"So, how have you been?"

"Other than me being homeless because I'm too old to be in a foster home and I have no money, I'm just peachy". I couldn't help the harsh tone. I thought I would've been happier but the more I sit here the more pissed I get.

"I ... I can make arrangements for you if you would like. Your aunt lives here, maybe she can take you in".

"Is her name Tiana?"

"Yes".

"Tried that already, she told me she only had one sibling and they didn't have any kids".

She looked at me confused.

"That doesn't sound like Tee to turn you away like that".

"Maybe she isn't claiming you anymore. Why didn't she let me in?"

She shook her head no a couple times then rubbed her temples.

"I can call her, okay? I'll get this all settled".

"Na, I'm good. I'm not one to be where I'm not wanted".

I took a deep breath and asked her the one question that would make or break our barely stable relationship.

"Why are you in here?"

"I told you in the letters. I was framed for something".

"Well, Nancy told me-"

"Who is Nancy?"

"My last foster mother".

"Did she treat you good?"

"No ... she didn't. None of them did".

She tried reaching across the table to touch me, but I moved my hands out of her reach.

"Don't ... don't touch me".

"I want you to know that I never meant for this to happen to you Simone. I love you dearly and I've always wanted the best for you".

"Then tell me the truth".

She sat back in the chair and cleared her throat.
​
"I'm in here because I killed your father".

Maybe I didn't hear her correctly. "What?"

"Your father was a hustler. I didn't know it until I was already in love with him, but that was his life. Your father caused a car accident that I was in, and I ended up blind. He paid for my procedure for me to get my sight back, this was after I had you".

"So, if he tried making it right why did you kill him?"

"Honestly, I ask myself that all the time. I knew what he was, and I thought I was doing right by you with keeping him away. But then I let him back in and it was a disaster from that point on. I was ... angry. Angry at how I could love a man so much who ruined everything that makes me who I am. I wanted him gone".

"And you didn't think about how that would affect me?"

"I didn't know I would've been sentenced to life. And even with that possibility, I ... I thought Tiana would have taken you in".

"Well, she didn't."

"Simone, I'm sorry-"

"Do you realize how much my life has been hell? All because you couldn't find something else to do with this pint up anger. I know nothing about where I come from. Nothing about you, nothing about my father. I'm completely at a lost".

"Your father is from Huntsville, Alabama. You have an aunt there named Liz. Take a trip down there. I'm sure she would take you in, she loved your father".

"Did you?"

"I ... I thought I did. Maybe I didn't. I know that I love and care about you and I will spend the rest of my life trying to fix what I did to you".

"How the fuck are you going to do that behind bars?"

I rolled my eyes and got up from the table. She gave me all I needed to know. A place to go and the truth.