Astray (See No Evil Book Two)

Chapter Eighteen

I dabbed at the bruise that formed on my cheek from Jaivon's beating with my blending sponge. Looking back at the stories I've heard about my parents, I know they're looking down on me disappointed. According to them, everything they did was for a better life for me. I looked at myself in my vanity mirror, disgusted at what I saw. Hiding my scars and bruises like lies covering up my truth. Putting on a wig to become someone I'm not, because the real me can't handle the life I'm living. Showing off what's meant to be covered up just to make Jaivon happy and avoid his striking fist. Where is my strength? My courage to walk out and figure out this shit on my own? Because this wasn't me for me. Hell, I don't think it was meant for any woman, but definitely not for me.

Jaivon text me telling me he needed me to make a drop across town. This particular customer has been known to rough up some of his distributors to get more product. I don't think Jaivon gives a damn about the rumor that's circulating around town, because he didn't tell anyone to accompany me. I know my protocol is to give the buyer what was discussed in the arrangement and nothing more. So, right now I'm trying to decide what's worse. Jaivon beating my ass again or this psycho beating my ass for not giving him what he asked for. Either way, I'm fucked.

"Hey".

I looked in my reflection and saw Essence standing in the doorway of my walk-in closet. She grabbed one of my plush pillows that I keep in the corner and sat down on the floor next to me, clutching the other pillow to her chest. This was a little awkward, seeing that we haven't spoken much since our argument. I have no idea where this shit is going, but she looked as if she had something important to say.

"What's up, Ess?"

"How are you feeling?"

I looked back at the bruises all over my face.

"How does it look like I'm feeling?", I said trying not to choke up.

"Why do you keep letting him treat you like shit?"

I didn't want to tell her, it's because of her. That I want to make sure that she's secured. She'd probably spazz on me like she did before. If this is an opportunity for us to get back to how we were, I don't want to mess it up by making her feel guilty of my abuse.

"I don't know", I lied.

"Well, I hate seeing you go through this. You were happier when Kane was around".

I gave her a quick side eye and looked away. How the hell did she know about Kane? As if she could read my mind, she smiled and leaned up against the wall and put the pillow under her, so she can sit on it.

"Oh, you thought you were slick going to New York with mister man, and nobody knew?", she asked jokingly.

"Did Jaivon know?"

"I'm sure he's heard about it, but I don't think he believes it. For some reason, he thinks Kane is this lame ass street nigga trying to follow in his footsteps. He didn't think he could get someone like you".

"Someone like me? He sure has some high standards for a bitch he beats on all the time".

She opened her mouth to say something but shook her head instead. I know she had the urge to comfort me, but no words can really fix this right now. And I would rather her not even waste her time.

"Do you miss him?", she asked.

"Miss who?"

"Kane".

"I ... I don't know".

"Yeah, you miss him. He put a smile on your face that I haven't seen... hell, ever".