Sabrina POV
Justin had been there for me through the roughest times.
When my lungs got worse, he was there in the hospital with me, day in day out.
Cystic Fibrosis is a horrible disease. It has had a massive impact on my life since I was little.
Constant time in hospital, it almost became my second home.
But my lungs, they got worse so quickly.
He was there for me when I thought he wouldn't be. He brought me flowers & chocolates & wrote me a letter everyday. He wrote how much he loved me & wanted me to get better & wished for me to be there with him in front of the tv at night.
But I couldn't. I couldn't live up to his needs.
I couldn't be the girlfriend he wanted.
I guess that's why he gave up...
Once I got out of the hospital, our relationship changed. He became more aggressive & sexual with me.
He would see me a lot less & go out to parties more often.
That one night he invited me to one.
I got hooked.
The alcohol became my addiction & the smoke became my drug. He would fuck around with multiple girls, but I didn't care.
Well, I didn't show I did.
As he would walk another girl up the stairs, I would drink more shots. My brain would spin more & my vision would blur.
I would go into my own world. A world where nothing mattered.
But it did...
and I let that consume me.
As we got home he would push me onto the bed. I would just let him take over as my mind swirled. He would pleasure me & I would pleasure him.
But it didn't feel like him anymore. He was different. He seemed more just in this relationship for pleasure not love. More for sex than hugs.
It just wasn't him.
But I didn't know,
know about his personalities.
He told me when we were in the car driving home from school. The tension in the car seemed to disappear when he spoke to me in his calm voice.
The voice I fell in love with.
"I can't... we can't.."
he stuttered to tell me but I knew what he meant. We couldn't be together anymore. He knew it for a while, but it took me some time to realise.
I can't date two people at once.
——————
I wasn't stupid,
but I was.
"I'm sorry but.."
he paused, taking a deep breath in before looking at me.
"I can't be me anymore. This reputation Jay has made for me.. I'm popular now. I don't want people to know about me Seb I just can't. I've become this person that they all love. I have to live up to Jay... I'm so sorry I-"
I cut him off & undo my seatbelt.
"Stop the car Justin"
My jaw clenched as I try to hold in my anger. A tear starts to fall down my cheek as I stare out the front window.
"unlock the fucking door Justin..., or should I call you Jay?"
I mumble through my gritted teeth as the door clicks, unlocking it.
Before he can speak again I cut him off, slamming the door behind me.
My heels click against the driveway as I burst through my door. Closing it, my body slides down the mirror on the back & tears start flooding down. My cheeks become sticky with my built up emotions.
How could he do this.
Leave our relationship for friends. Friends who will use him. Friends who will take advantage of him.
He left our love for that.
Or my love.
Maybe it was just a one way thing.
Maybe I was the only one who was in love.
4 months. It was all a lie.
Now I had an excuse.
To go to parties.
To get drunk.
To smoke weed.
It would become my remedy.
My cure.
Only if I hadn't gotten with him that night.
That night at Aaron's 17th.
Maybe I wouldn't be here.
Maybe I wouldn't be in this mindset.
Maybe death wouldn't be my only choice right now.
Maybe I could've made it work.
But he used me.
He took advantage of me.
And he humiliated me in front of the whole school.
Just because he wanted to live up to Jay.
He wanted to be normal, but he couldn't.
I wish I could be normal.
Be happy.
At least now I know.
Not to make a mistake of dating someone like this again...
———————————————————————
Okay so this # drama on insta is fucking wild holy shit this fandom is toxic now days. I'm high key missing the 2015-2017 fandom like everyone was so chill & loving of each other like what the fuck happened :(
On another note...
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FanfictionYou had fallen for Ethan, the homeschooled boy down the road. He was the innocent & shy type, but that's what you liked about him. Little did you know about his other personality.... His evil side. {contains smut, abuse, violence & sensitive topics}
