Can Nobody Hear Me? Jacksepticeye AU

Chapter 11

"Alex, can you go and get me my notebook?" Chase asked, making Alex nod. He headed up to Chase's bedroom and searched around for a little while before finding a pile of notebooks. There must have been five or six so he took the two that look the newest. One had a little skull on it and the other one was just plain blue. Alex had to fight the temptation to flick through them as he ran back downstairs to the living room.

"I wasn't sure which one you wanted so I just-" Alex rambled before cutting himself as he looked up to see Chase standing in front of him with his PlayStation in his hands.

"Tada!"

"Is that my PlayStation?!"

"Yep!"

"Oh my fuck- You're the best dad ever! I thought I wouldn't have been able to take it!" Alex started to jump up and down on the spot, his grin reaching his eyes for the first time in a while.

"I've got all of your games too!"

"I love you, dad! Can I set it up please?"

-

Chase didn't sleep the next night either. He laid in bed for around an hour before he decided he was too restless to fall asleep so he got up and grabbed another one of the notebooks. His writing was so neat and, sometime between writing the notebooks and the present, it had become a scruffy, incoherent mess.

Past-Chase had also been filled with so many new, original video ideas. Pages were covered with prompts and ideational sketches. It was funny how all of Chase's creativity and originality had vanished almost immediately after he entered an abusive relationship. Some of that was directly Stacy's fault as she always shunned people with jobs on YouTube and thought they didn't deserve fame. He shut the notebook as a tear fell down his pale cheek, placing it back in its place on his desk.

He found himself standing up, his body yearning to fulfil the ritual he had done whenever everyone was out or asleep. In that case, everyone was snoring away in their bedrooms so he took the chance to sneak downstairs. He knew where the other egos kept the alcohol: he had lived there at one point, after all. Remaining as quiet as possible, he crept downstairs and opened up the cupboard in the kitchen. Finding a few bottles of whisky was the absolute jackpot for him, even though he knew they didn't belong to him. They were most likely JJ's since the gentleman liked a glass occasionally.

Chase picked them up in his arms and headed back upstairs. He downed one. Then another. His eyesight became a bit blurred as colours were heightened and the world began to dance around him. Everything was enhanced except his emotions that were drowned and forgotten for a moment. He felt light, like a feather balancing in the wind. He let out a gentle laugh at the amazing feeling bubbling inside his chest before the sound of footsteps startled him.

Still aware of the potential threat, he kicked one of the bottles beneath his bed. He remained sitting on the mattress with his legs pulled up to his chest but he tried his best not to make it obvious. It must have still been fairly obvious because the first thing Marvin said when he entered the room was, "Are you drunk?" The smell had given him away. Both Chase and the room in general were filled with the stench of alcohol.

"No," Chase replied, dragging out the 'o' and hiccupping. His intoxicated state couldn't have been more obvious, even if he had replied with 'yes, I'm wasted'. "I'm not drunk."

"Chase," Marvin's face fell as he sat down beside his friend on the bed. "I know it's hard and all but please don't console in alcohol. Console in me, your friend. It's healthier and I give better advice."

"Okay, I'm a little drunk but why does it matter?" His words were all slurred and his body was violently shaking. Chase was in such a state.

"This isn't good for you. Do you drink often?"

"Whenever there's nobody around. It's nice to," Hiccup. "Forget."

"I know but this is just... unhealthy. Talk to us." Marvin wrapped an arm around Chase, pulling him closer, even though his stench made him scrunch his nose up.

"Stacy fucking hits me. You know the story."

"I do but you should tell us you aren't coping."

"Am coping. Just in bad ways."

"Is there anything else?"

"Huh?"

"How else are you coping?"

"You don't," Hiccup. "Wanna know."

"We'll talk in the morning. You need to-" Marvin was cut off as Chase's soft lips were pressed against his own. He immediately shoved the other man away with wide eyes. "What the fuck are you doing?" Chase had literally fallen asleep in the magician's arms so he couldn't even reply.

-

Chase awoke with a pounding headache and a limited memory of the night before. The first thing he did was groan and swing his legs over the side of his bed, knocking over a half-empty bottle of whisky in the process. 'Oh yeah,' He remembered, placing a cold hand against his burning forehead. He used his other hand to pick up the bottles of whisky. 'I drank.'

He rushed downstairs with the prayer that he wouldn't run into anybody with the evidence of the night before in his hands. He threw away the empty bottles and shoved the half-filled one back where he had stolen it from. Just as he was running out of the kitchen, he ran right into Marvin's chest, causing him to stumble back with a yelp. "You're awake then," Marvin said, his voice far astray from its usual gentle kindness. It was weird to hear the magician's voice so monotone. "Everyone else is awake and in their rooms."

"What time is it?" Chase was wincing against the glaring light from the window. Marvin moved to stand in front of the ray so that Chase could un-scrunch his face.

"Three in the afternoon."

"What?!"

"Yep," Marvin popped the 'p', folding his arms and staring at the man with a raised eyebrow. "I found you last night. In your room. Off of your face."

"Did you?" Chase tried to recall any events from the night but all he could remember were shapes and blurs, nothing significant that would actually remind him what had happened. "It was a one-time thing, I swear."

"That isn't what you said last night. Do you remember anything at all?"

Marvin was staring at him as if there was something that he needed to recall but nothing was coming to mind. Chase was just blankly staring back. "No... Should I?"

"I'm not surprised honestly. You were so wasted. Imagine if one of your kids had been the one to find you? They don't need another problem in their life."

"I'm sorry... alright? It won't happen again."

"It better not..." Chase assumed that was the end of the conversation so attempted to turn to the door but Marvin spoke again, making him turn back. "About last night. You said something. You said you coped badly, what did you mean by that? Other than the alcohol, of course."

"I just meant the alcohol. That's the only way I cope. It just helps me drown away my problems, you know?" Chase knew immediately what his intoxicated-self had been on about: self harm. That had been his other unhealthy coping mechanism but he vowed to stop now that he was living with so many people. It would be so easy for someone to walk in on him and send him to the doctor but he was okay. He was coping. The only reason he self harmed was because it let him have control over something. He didn't want to die and leave the children behind... not yet anyway. His hands nervously started to pull at his sleeves.

"You sure?"

Chase nodded, not trusting his words anymore.

"Okay but you know you can speak to me and the other guys, alright? We're all here for you."