Can Nobody Hear Me? Jacksepticeye AU

Chapter 15

"I'm sorry for what I said to you..." Alex mumbled, genuinely sorry. He was standing in front of Chase with his hands in his pockets and his head facing the floor. Chase was examining his face in search of sarcasm but found nothing but nerves. "I don't hate you and I don't wish we were a normal family. I would never want to replace you or Sammy."

"I know, you were upset. You don't need to apologise." Chase replied, bringing a hand through his hair that was still messy after Marvin had been playing with it. His heart beat a little faster just thinking about Marvin's hands in his hair as his head was laid on his lap.

"I really do love you, dad. I'm sorry you married mum and had me and Sammy so you felt you couldn't leave."

"That is not how I feel. I love you both and have never once regretted having you." Alex pulled his dad into a hug and he never wanted to let go.

-

"How would you two feel about going into town?" Marvin offered, making both of the children's eyes light up like the sun.

"Yes! I really need a new jumper. Two just isn't enough in winter." Alex replied with a small grin, pulling his long sleeves over his hands.

"Shopping!" Sammy screeched, running around the room like the bundle of energy she was. She had her unicorn tucked under one arm and the rabbit Marvin had given her under the other.

"Marv... I don't have any money..." Chase admitted, scratching the back of his head.

"It's no problem. My treat."

-

"Don't spend too much, I don't want Marvin to feel like he has to buy us all new things. I will start earning a bit more soon. My channel's just a bit on the down low right now. Things will start to look up soon, I promise."

Alex and Sammy nodded. Sammy then grabbed Marvin and Chase's hands before dragging them into the first toy store they saw. She continuously jabbed her new 'uncle''s sides until he bought her another stuffed toy, that time a lion. Alex then pulled them into a clothes shop where he bought another pair of ripped jeans and a hoodie. Chase was asked if there was anything he wanted but he simply shook his head, not wanting to spend all of Marvin's money. In reality, he was in need of a new jacket because a few of the buttons on his one had fallen off but he didn't mind. If his kids were happy, he'd live out of a cardboard box.

When Alex had disappeared into CeX, his favourite video games store (mine too), Chase turned to Marvin who was holding Sammy's hand. "You don't need to buy them all this stuff. I'll be getting money soon..." Chase started, refusing to meet his friend's gaze. He shoved his hands into his button-less jacket, blushing ever so slightly when Marvin laughed.

"I want to, alright? I love them as if they were family."

"Thank you for this. You're the best. I don't know how I'm ever going to repay you."

"You won't need to, alright? I'm just doing this because I love you."

Knowing full well Marvin meant it platonically, Chase let out a short sigh. He refused to admit that his heart skipped a beat and his palms began to feel clammy at the thought. He really hated the way he was beginning to feel and was shoving it away as much as he could. He was straight and married to a woman (even if they weren't technically together anymore). "I love you too, man." Chase replied, feeling like there was a bit more authenticity in his own statement.

-

"Movie night!" Jackieboy Man yelled, his voice so loud that it made Chase flinch a little but no one really noticed. The man just sunk back in his seat and focused on his breaths for a moment until he was stable again. "What first?"

"Star Wars. Just anything Star Wars." Alex replied with a wide grin. Alex would never have smiled so wide if they were still at home with Stacy.

"Do you remember those bed covers you had when you were little? You were so upset when you ruined them." Chase spoke up.

"I know..."

"I vote Guardians Of The Galaxy!" Marvin said from his seat beside Chase and Sammy.

"I'm with Marv." A voice spoke up from the other sofa. Based on the German accent, it was Henrik von Schneeplestein. JJ's hands were moving too to signify his agreement.

"Ha!" Marvin poked his tongue out like a toddler at Alex who just folded his arms and sat back on the sofa. "Guardians Of The Galaxy is the best film confirmed."

"Fuck off."

"Language!" Chase jokingly clasped his hands over Sammy's little ears but the girl just giggled loudly, kicking her legs against the sofa. Jackieboy Man stood up and headed over to the PlayStation, opening up the movie's box and placing the disk into the console. The TV came to life, displaying the PlayStation logo before questioning who was using the console.

"Chase, can you pass me the Doritos?" Marvin questioned, making Chase nod and happily comply. He leaned forward to the table that was closer to him and grasped the bowl. He heard a shaky sigh from beside him and glanced again at his best friend before back at the Doritos. His sleeve had ridden up slightly to reveal a few red lines. Chase hurriedly shoved the bowl into Marvin's hands, mumbling something about how he scratched it after falling over. Marvin nodded but obviously didn't believe him: he sent him that look that basically said we will talk later.

Chase gulped, biting his lip and staring directly at front of him at the TV screen. He wasn't watching the movie though, he was thinking about how he had thrown himself head-first into one of the worst possible situations. His body was shaking and his breathing wasn't steady as he played through the potential outcomes in his head. Of course, there were some good ones but he skipped straight over them, instead dwelling on the bad. He contemplated Marvin kicking him out, Marvin telling everybody and the worst: Marvin becoming like Stacy. Maybe seeing the marks would just confirm to his friend about how pathetic Chase really was.

He got up onto his feet when it became a little too much. Everyone turned to stare at him and he looked directly at Marvin through anxious, tear-filled eyes. "I'm just going to the toilet." He muttered before racing out into the hallway to the bathroom.

He slammed the door a bit too loudly, leaning on the wall so he didn't collapse. The bathroom was box-shaped and rather small but never had it felt so cramped. His brain fed him the illusion that it was just gradually reducing in size, eventually going to be so small that he would need to curl up or get crushed. Before he knew it, he was laying on the floor with his arms wrapped around his legs. He could hear the movie because Jackieboy Man had put it on at an unnecessarily loud volume. He hadn't minded at the beginning but it was becoming too much. The booming was making the world tremble and shake, spinning and dancing around Chase who was breathing heavily. He wasn't even crying, just staring and shaking as his teeth chattered and he panicked.

Time was forgotten as Chase scrunched his eyes scrunched shut and his hands moved to pull at his hair. His friends were all just a couple of rooms away, enjoying Jackieboy Man's favourite movie and laughing at the comedy, leaning forward at the action and cheering on the good guys (with the exception of Anti who always routed for the enemy because he thought it made him seem edgy). They were all enveloped in the film whilst Chase was having a breakdown.

A soft knock on the door brought Chase back to the harsh reality. The room appeared to be its normal size and the noises were no longer being amplified. His breathing was still raged and heavy and he still felt extremely nauseated but less so. "You alright in there? You've been in here for ages." It sounded like Marvin but Marvin was the last person he wanted to talk to in that moment.

"Yeah, I- I'm fine..." Chase said, his voice quivering. He got up onto his feet, his legs like jelly beneath him, so much so that he was surprised they were still managing to hold him up. He flushed the toilet to try and make what he was doing a bit less obvious then opened the door and walked out into the hallway. He pushed passed Marvin with his head hung low so his red eyes were hidden from his sight. "Actually, I'm not feeling too well. I'm going to go and lay down."