Speak Now

VI

What's more awkward than having dinner with your ex-boyfriend who cruelly dumped you 'for your own benefit'? Under normal circumstances, I would say that it couldn't get weirder than this but then, here we are, sitting around the table with an audience, all of whom are watching us like we're caged animals at a zoo. They're enthralled by this show we're putting on, waiting to see which of us would break first. I was determined that it wouldn't be me; I am a mature woman who has her shit together. 

Most of the time. At this very second, I'm quite close to losing all semblance of tranquillity and demanding to know what everyone is staring at. I mean, I'm not the only person here that's suffering through an immensely tense dinner with an ex nearby; no one is paying any attention to James and Nina and that kind of annoys me more than the fact that I'm half of everyone's main focus. Despite every part of me wanting to confront them about this and demand to know why they aren't scrutinizing James and Nina, I can't throw my best friend under the bus. 

"So, I've been meaning to ask for a really long time but I've never had the nerve to so now that I've had a few drinks, I may as well ask," Aoife O'Shae word-vomited, sipping on her wine and letting her eyes fall on me. I groan as I anticipate her question; she's going to address the fat elephant in the room and ask about Sam, I just know it. "Are you and James dating?"

Ok, so maybe that elephant can sit this conversation out for a while longer. "Me and James?" I ask, clarifying her question. When she nods, I laugh. "What do you think?"

I've long been used to people assuming that James and I are more than friends; for the past five years, we've been inseparable, living together, travelling the world together, trying to survive together. It's like we're a couple, but without the benefits. That didn't stop the media speculation, though. Being James' sidekick, I was his Plus One to everything. Award ceremonies, premieres, or fashion shows, I was always on his arm, which meant that I was quickly labelled his girlfriend. 

Since James never discussed his personal life with the press and my nearest and dearest knew the truth, we usually just let gossip websites and magazines print whatever they want. James' PR at the time said that the more we denied the rumours, the more the media would run with it and the audience would believe the gossip. Of course, most of my friends believed what they read and despite telling Keira yesterday that James and I were not sleeping together, I don't think she believed. In fact, I don't think anyone around this dinner table believes that James and I are not a couple. 

"I'd bet my house on the fact that you are," Aoife comments. The longer she stares at me, the longer I keep quiet and refuse to answer further, meaning she wilts under my gaze and shifts her attention to Logan. "How's the wedding prep going, Logan?"

With the focus now off us and with Logan going full steam into the finer details of the wedding, I breathed a sigh of relief, if only briefly. While the groom-to-be was regaling everyone with how the church was going to be dressed for the ceremony, his fiancée kept suggestively raising her eyebrow at me whenever she noticed James and me dared to move an inch. Keira really wasn't buying the fact that James and I are platonic. But at least she wasn't sending us death stares like Nina Taylor was. Poor Charlie-boy was oblivious to the jealousy exhibited by the woman to his right and indulged Logan's need to talk about the wedding. The men chatted animatedly until a loud sigh from Nina made Charlie turn to her and frown.