Speak Now

XVI

If being in and out of therapy over years has taught me anything about my relationship with Sam it's this: I made him my everything. That's why when we agreed to give our relationship another go yesterday, I made some ground rules, with the main one being that we had to take things slow this time, no rushing, just enjoying one another's company. That's why, even though we made the decision to date again, we chose to spend time apart. 

"Do you think they know?" Sam whispered to me as he brushed against me in the kitchen. His eyes darted to the door, cautious about our friends overhearing. What he didn't know is that I'd already told James all about it last night and had promised him that we'd hang out later so we could talk about it more. As much as I wanted to be honest with Sam about it, though, watching him be all paranoid was just too damn cute. He stepped a foot away from me and frowned as he continued to watch the door. "As much as I love Keira, she'd be unbearable if she heard about us. She's way too intrusive."

I laugh because it's true. "Then I guess it's a good thing that we're keeping this on the DL."

Hearing footsteps in the hallway, Sam rushed to the other side of the counter, picked up the newspaper and pretended to drink coffee from an empty cup. He was trying too hard to make it seem as if it were just a coincidence that we were in the kitchen at the same time but he couldn't look more inconspicuous even if he tried. It wasn't until he started to whistle obnoxiously to himself that I shook my head at how ridiculous he was being. 

Thankfully, James walked in and gave me a side hug as he came to a stop at my side. "Morning," he greeted me. Noticing Sam sitting opposite where I stood, he tipped his head in Sam's direction. "Hi."

"Um..." Sam gulped audibly as he looked to me for some sort of guidance on how to speak to James. When I didn't offer any assistance, Sam rushed out of his seat and practically ran out the door, calling 'bye' as he left. 

Sharing a silent look, James and I gathered our things as we set off on our adventure. Today, we were having a BFF Sunday Funday, a tradition that we began years and years ago but only truly stuck to after James' first stint in rehab. He was advised to stay active and would frequently quote Legally Blonde's most famous line. No, not 'bend and snap' but 'exercise releases endorphins, endorphins make you happy, and happy people just don't kill their husbands.' Ignoring the last part of the quote, I was more than happy to support James with his endorphin releasing adventures, mainly because they were adventures that I could get into. We would go surfing, do yoga, hike... but our favourite thing to do was go cycling. Back in California, we loved to go free riding, having been taught by a stuntman from a previous Spymaster movie, and although there weren't any freeride-able routes in County Mayo, we still hired out some bikes from a local tourist place in town. 

The young girl in the shop did a double take when James and I walked in but she had the decency not to say anything. Instead, she handed us two very fashionable helmets, gave us a map each and told us to have a nice day. The next twenty minutes were spend watching James do his 'checks' of each bike, even going as far as to adjust the height of my seat when he saw that it was too high for me. Eventually, he was happy and grinned like a caged animal that could practically smell freedom.