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chapter no. 010!
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❝ I KNOW MY FATE. ❞ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
NIKITA GILL ONCE SAID THAT "DAMAGED PEOPLE LOVE YOU LIKE A CRIME SCENE BEFORE A CRIME HAS EVEN BEEN COMMITTED. They keep their running shoes beside their souls every night, one eye open in case things change whilst they sleep. Their backs are always tense as though waiting to fight a sudden storm that might engulf them. Because damaged people have already seen hell. And damaged people understand that every evil demon that exists down there was once a kind angel before it fell." I like to believe that the character I played was based on that quote. I was, and am, damaged beyond repair, and everything I touched became part of that wreckage.
I'm a wrecking ball in the form of a twenty-nine-year-old woman, swinging into every room and unleashing havoc. Every mark I made was more than just a scratch; it was a blow to the stomach; a kick to the chest; a stab in the back. I left pieces of myself behind like a tornado. As I soared from room to room, I allowed pieces of me to wither away like dying leaves on an autumn tree.
Leaving behind parts of yourself makes it easier to face the storm when it comes. If all you have left is you—you truly have nothing left to lose. The storm can take you whole and fly you to the depths of hell, where, to some odd degree, you can feel peace for the first time in a long time.
Falling down that black tunnel, as I had done so many times before, filled my veins with adrenaline. The darkness of death welcomed me back like an old friend and I felt at peace for less than a second before my feet solidly hit the ground. Pacing myself backward, I outstretched my bloodied right hand and switched on the LED lights. The basement flooded with bright lights and I spun on my heel, flinging open the control panel and typing in the code: 12282000. A loud snap echoed throughout the space as all security alarms and protocols shut down.
