Selfish | خود خواه

used to it.

everyone knows i'm a little hippie,
positive vibes and breathing steady,
all i wanted to do was self empower,
why'd you throw it into vacuum? you just take cover.

now listen, i'm just seventeen,
but i spent all these years tending to ghosts and skins need,
"tell me what you want and i'm always here babe,"
did any of you ever think i never had a heroes cape?

to the girl with imperfect dreams,
social life full of sadness and a phone full of tears,
you may have cut any cords of connection between us,
doesn't take a genius to know every last thought is of me god i'm not even sus,
but you go on ahead,
tell everyone clout and likes were never what you said,
you couldn't live a day without the attention in your head.

theres my social circle i love to death,
take that literal,
because if i died tomorrow wouldn't you ask what it was that lead?
nearly 2019 and technologies put us in each others homes,
my doors always open but come on now you didn't even try to stand slightly close.

i know a boy who told me quite recently,
"you used to start all the convos and you're not even a part of it anymore",
certainly never brought around a sense of emergence,
all of them slowly left me as i bled but why?
go back to the second line of this stanza and no, they didn't try.

maybe it's all my fault and somehow i brought around self destruction,
but everything is so lonely all this books done was kill the signs of selfishness in construction.

in a minute, this book will be done,
i just wanted to strengthen and be something im not,
but to all the people just like me,
i guess we need people and selfishness isn't a concept to read,
and when its not around - lonely is a beautiful word and i've become so used to it.