How To Train Your Boyfriend

Chapter 20: Never Have We Ever

Never Have We Ever

"Smile or I'm not letting you in."

I rolled my eyes and bared my teeth, putting little effort into the expression and probably looking more feral dog than human.

Theo, not amused with my reluctance, sighed. "That was pathetic. Come on in, I guess."

He nudged his front door open, giving me just enough space to squeeze past him. I waited in the hallway as he shut the front door, locked it, and then turned to give me a chastising look.

"Fashionably late?"

"Or," I began, holding up one finger. "Everyone else was early."

Theo scoffed and disappeared into his living room, not inviting me to follow but knowing that I ultimately would.

The truth was, I had spent all of Sunday avoiding Theo's house. I showered even though I didn't have time for it (shaving my legs, because go big or go home), I cleaned my room (completely unnecessary but a quality way to occupy time), and even spent ten minutes trying to teach myself how to juggle with the apples in my kitchen's fruit bowl. Though I did every activity I could to procrastinate, I arrived at Theo's only thirty minutes late.

Thirty minutes late and neither mentally prepared nor physically prepared for the night.

Monday was senior skip day. A few weeks before, Theo had discovered that his parents would be out of town for his father's work conference, and suggested that we take advantage of the empty house. And by take advantage, Theo meant drink. And by drink, Theo meant a lot.

I trailed behind Theo until we reached the kitchen where everyone else was waiting. Francie was leaning casually against a counter that was being sat on by a very cheery Carter. Nick, Mia, and James occupied the kitchen table, each one holding a cup of something undoubtedly alcoholic and, by the wince made after Francie took a sip, undoubtedly strong.

"Sutton!" Francie beamed. I was quick to smile back, focusing all of my attention on her and doing my best to not glance at the other half of the room.

James hadn't spoken to me since the night before and, because he hadn't spoken to me, I hadn't spoken to him. What would I say? What could I say? I wasn't necessarily angry with him, just in disbelief. We had a fight and, until the night before, I hadn't realized I could fight with James. Not about anything real, anyway. And though it was petty, and confusing, and ridiculous, it felt . . . real.

And it felt horrible.

I didn't want to apologize. Apologizing, after all, was never one of my strong suits. I had always been too stubborn, too in denial about my actions, always choosing to make up for it as opposed to admit I had done something wrong. But now, with James, the urge was a throbbing, splintering headache. It was a scab that I desperately wanted to pick. And it wasn't just the fight that I wanted to apologize for. I wanted to apologize for Mia, for lying, for manipulating, for Sean, for -

"She's here, can we drink now?"

Carter's voice snapped me to attention. He smiled in my direction and winked, both setting me at ease and instituting a new wave of anxiety. Carter was here and Adam wasn't. I tried not to think about what that would mean.

"James, unveil the goods!" Theo called out. I was still faced away from the table, my gaze on Francie and on Francie alone, doing my best to ignore the person everyone else in the room was currently staring at. "Wait, no. No, not those goods. Put your pants back on, Hadley. For the love of God, I meant the alcohol."