Letters to the Star Whisperer

-79-

Aspen had wondered over to the actives. Just like Holly had said, it was arts and crafts. She felt like a little kid again, and she didn't like it.

It was treating adults like they were children. But she figured if she played along, she would have been out soon enough. So she took a chair and grabbed a pencil.

The person running it was an older lady with fading blonde hair and tight lips had walked over to her and told her that her name was Nicki.

"What do I draw?"

"Whatever you like. Do you like the draw?"

"I usually do water colors."

"Oh, so you're an artist?" she asked, making her blush.

"I don't know about that."

Before Aspen could say anything else, Nicki had brought her a brush and some watercolors and stronger paper. "Go crazy."

Aspen didn't know either to laugh or be angry at the woman for not watching her words. That was the reason she was in this mess. But she picked up the brush and closed her eyes.

She pictured a happy memory. She started to paint a dark blue sky and then added a million dots that started to look more and more like stars. She was careful about the mountains in the background.

She noticed some people were staring, but she didn't mind. She forgot how much fun it was as she painted the Front Range in front of the mountains.

In the corner, she painted two people in the back of a truck, looking up to the stars and talking about life. She didn't add too many details to the bodies.

No faces. She didn't feel like going into that much detail.

When she was done that was when she realized it had taken her exactly 42 minutes. People were staring at the finish work, patting her on the back and asking how long she's been painting. "My mom taught me. I used to do it a lot."

Nicki had loved it so much she asked Aspen if she could take a picture for her website. Aspen didn't mind. She smiled as her picture was taken.

*-*-*

"Ethan visited me yesterday."

Sherry nodded. "That's your roommate, right?"

"Yeah, that's him. He's one of my best friends. He even brought me flowers."

"Flowers?" Sherry's left eyebrow rose.

Aspen shook her head. "No, it's. .. I don't think it's like that. I think he was just being nice. He seems different around me now. He's treating me like glass."

"How so?"

She shrugged. "He tip toes a bit when he talks to me. He's usually not like that."

Sherry looked over her notes. The clock seemed loud that day, tick-tocking away on the wall. "Ethan was the last person to talk to you before you tried to kill yourself? Right?"

A shot of numbness went up Aspen's stomach when someone said that. Ever since the first day, she's been getting that feeling. She wished it would go away. "Yeah. He said I should tell him to jump off a cliff and I told him to get out."

"Do you think he's afraid to say the wrong thing?"

"He didn't say the wrong thing. I was going to do it either way," Aspen said.

Sherry paused. "So no matter what, you were planning on overdosing?"

Aspen felt shameful. "I don't know. I don't want to talk about it."

"What do you want to talk about?" Sherry asked. She had never made Aspen feel bad for changing the subject. "I see you made a friend yesterday?"

"Holly? Yeah, I guess. We talked. .. does she hear voices?"

"I can't tell you if she did. I'm not allowed to talk about other patients." Aspen nodded. She wouldn't have liked it if Sherry talked about her that way with strangers. "So I was told you did the activates today?"

"Yeah, it was arts and crafts. At least, I thought it was stupid, having a bunch of adults paint. My mom taught me to paint and it was the first time I've painted in years."

"What did you paint?"

Aspen showed her the finish work. Sherry held it for a while in her hands. She saw that Sherry was smiling. "Does it look okay?"

"Aspen, it's beautiful. Do you think of being an artist?"

She shook her head. "I don't know what I want to be. I just work in a tea shop and teach yoga and train dogs. Though, I have thought what I wanted to do for a career. Ethan, my friend, he worked a job he didn't like for six years. I may not make the most money but I feel happy."

"Have you thought about going to school for art?"

Again, she shook her head. "It's a waste of money."

"Says who?"

"Says everyone."

"Well, if you're smart about it, you can make money. There are art jobs out there."

Aspen sighed. "It's just art, it's not like I'm saving anyone's life."

Sherry gave a smirk. "As far as you know. Art is one of the most important things in this world."

Aspen wanted to say something else but looked at the clock and saw how close it was getting to the end. "I guess."