Letters to the Star Whisperer

-84-

They were driving down the road that lead to the lake. It was a tiny lake with a walking trail that went around it. Aspen was looking around, seeming a tiny bit excited. When Ethan parked the truck, he turned to her and smiled. "Come on," he said. He reached behind the seat and pulled out a basket.

              He saw Aspen staring, almost studying the little picnic basket. He got out and quickly went around, opening the door for her. She hoped down, letting the fresh air hit her nose. Ethan held out his arm, and she wrapped hers around it. They started to walk the trail, no words exchanged.

              They finally came across bench under a giant tree, the type that you could attach a swing to. They sat down, with the basket between them, watching the body of the lake. There wasn't many people out. Just a family and maybe two joggers.

              "So, I made two sandwiches, packed some chips and one giant vegan cookie, no soy, no peanuts, gluten free and whatever else that makes it taste good," Ethan said, starting to take out food. He handed the cookie to her, and she took it slowly.

              "This is from the Laughing Cow, isn't it?" she said, a tiny smile growing.

              Ethan nodded. "I went back there this week. Been saving that cookie for a few days. Trust me, it was safe. Not even the dogs were going near that. Also, I tried the chicken fried lattle."

              Aspen raised an eyebrow. "Yeah? What did you think of it?"

              "I'm going to be honest. .. I really tried to like it, but I think coffee and fried chicken needs to stay separate."

              She actually laughed. It's been a while since she had actually allowed herself to laugh, and witnessing that laugh after two weeks of pure hell looked like heaven's gate. "Maybe I'll try it soon." She held on to her sandwich. She wanted to eat, but she couldn't get herself to, no matter how hard she tried. Ethan grabbed something from the bottom of the basket. He seemed nervous as he pulled out a stack of envelopes that was held together by thin rope. Aspen blinked. "What's that?"

              Ethan took a deep breath. "This is seventy-two letters from people that you know or that know you. Um, when you were. .. in the hospital, I went around and asked people to write you a letter. Jane helped out a lot! She knew more of your friends than I did. .. I just, um, here." He handed her the letters as she placed her cookie down. His cheeks were burning.

              She stared at all the letters in her lap. She didn't say anything for a while. All they could hear was the water, some ducks nearby, and the wind. He started to get worried. "Was it stupid of me? I'm sorry, I shouldn't-"

              "Thank you," she said as if she just learned how to speak English for the first time. He saw a tear hitting the top envelope.

              "Aspen?"

              She wiped her face with the back of her hand. "Ethan, this is. .. I don't know what to say."

               "It's letters from people like Jane, your parents, Joy. I also got Karen and Skyler. .. um, I got Keith, Jenny, Jesse and all them. Jane helped tracking down people. I know you know a lot of people, and I asked them to write you a letter and they always looked excited to do it. This isn't all of them. There is still more coming."

              She looked up. In her ears, he could see a ray of hope starting to come back. Her eyes were starting to look alive. "Did you write me a letter?"

              He nodded and pointed to the top. "It's the first one."

              She slipped it out of the string and handed it to him. "Will you read me yours? Please?"

              "Sure." He took the letter from her and she placed the rest on the ground along with the basket. When he started to open the letter up, and laid down and placed her head in his lap. For a moment, everything seemed perfect. He wanted to stay like that for the rest of his life.

              He took the paper out and started to read.

              "Dear Star Whisper,

              "I don't really know where to start and I don't know how to end this, so I think I'm going to start in the middle. Aspen Grover, you have touched so many lives and I feel like the luckiest guy in the world to witness it. You're loving, caring, and always cheerful. Even on your gone days, I still like being around you. You invited me into your life without expecting anything from me."

              He glanced to see that her eyes were closed, but her ears were opened. He went on. "In these last 3 months, I am been blessed to call you my friend. If I hadn't had run into you, and instead run into someone like me, God forbid, I would still be doing what I was doing before; getting drunk and possibly hurt myself really badly. Since I did run into you, my view on life has changed 360. I don't see things like I did before. I now greet people with a smile instead of frowning. I try new things instead of running away from it. I don't see just stars, I see souls now.

              "That night that I came home, I was so scared that I would lose you. It took me a while to realize how selfish that was. I was thinking only about me, and why you would do this to me, and this affected me. I didn't think about you and what you were going through and how much pain you were in. I'm not saying that I ever want you to kill yourself, but I understand why now. Instead of just stopping you, I want to give you a reason to stop yourself.

              "I'm not really good at letters, but I know how much you like them. I didn't know how to start this letter, and I am not sure how to end it either. So, if you take anything away from this horrible letter that my middle school English teacher would be ashamed of, I want you to know this:

              "You are loved by many, even if you don't know it. You can tell yourself everyday that you don't have a friend in the world, but you will always know that's a lie, because I want to make sure you always know that I am here, and that I do love you.

              "I have become a new person because of you."

              He started to fold the letter and place it back. "Always, Ethan," he finished. He looked down to Aspen, who was trying to hold back her tears. She covered her eyes, trying to hide them away. When she took her hands off she showed a smile.

He really tried to hold back his tears, but seeing her smile was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. "I really just want you to know, I really just want to drill this into your stupid stubborn head. No matter how many times you tell yourself you don't a single person in the world, I want you to know you're dead wrong. I don't want to see you trapped in your room, letting days go by that could be spend doing happy things, or boring or whatever. Please, Aspen, please don't lock yourself away from the world. You're too special to be locked away."

              It took her a moment to say anything. "I have become a whole new person because of you too," she finally said. Ethan put his letter under his leg and with a free hand, he held it in front of Aspen. She looked very confused. "What?"

              "It's a hand. .. you're supposed to shake someone's hand when you meet them for the first time."

              They shook each other's hand, meeting for the first time again.