Anxiety.

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Home alone,
The music does nothing to heal my soul.
I can hear the loud beats even inside the house from there
Everybody's gone, enjoying the good life.
But, not me.
It's not that I don't want to,
I just can't.
The thought of so many people scares me.
So many eyes on me,
Too many hands inside my breathing space.
Too many whispers but not enough
to not hear my heartbeat
inside my ears.

It's not that I don't want to,
I just can't.
I'm lost. Confused. terrified.
Too scared to face people, because I'm worried they'll see right through me.

I don't like it.
I tried hard, but I can't change the way I feel,

And it fucking terrifies me.

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