everytime | noah centineo

52 | let me go

Natalia knocked at the door once again with a small sigh, running her fingers through her hair. She had been waiting for ten minutes for him to open the door, however it seemed like she was going to get no response.

With a huff, she reached into her pocket and pulled out the key she never returned, and unlocked the door. As she stepped inside the apartment, Natalia made a simple promise to herself: No crying.

She had cried enough over this breakup, and she refused to let herself break down again. All she wanted was to grab the rest of her things and leave, but she knew that would be difficult.

Natalia gazed around the all too familiar apartment, the box she bought to put her stuff in hanging loosely from her grasp. Noah hadn't cleaned in a few days, as far as Natalia could tell, which made her heart clench.

With a shaky breath, she made her way into the bedroom and began packing up her belongings. Just as she finished folding up one of her dresses, her phone rang in her pocket.

"Hello?" She answered with a breath, not bothering to check the caller ID.

"Hey Natty, its Lex. You good?" Alexis's voice rang out, "The offer still stands, ya know. I could come help."

Natalia shook her head, "I need to do this, Lex. Its been almost three months and half my clothes are still here. We broke up, I can't keep dwelling."

She heard Alexis sigh on the other end. "Make sure you give it back."

Natalia knew what she was talking about without even saying it. "I-I will."

"Good. I love you."

"You too." With that, Natalia hung up and tucked the phone into her back pocket, turning back to the bed where she had scattered her things.

She worked in silence for a few minutes, before she heard the door open, causing her to freeze. Natalia let out a curse under her breath as she wandered into the living room, seeing Noah enter his apartment.

Natalia stared at him for a minute, taking in the site. He was in sweatpants and a loose sweater, and Natalia could tell he hadn't been working out for a while. His hair had grown out longer than he usually let it, but it was the way Natalia liked it because she used to run her fingers through it. He also hadn't shaved in a while, but Natalia didn't mind that either. To her, he would always look beautiful.

His gaze met hers almost instantly, and Natalia could feel her breath hitch as his eyes fix on hers, and she could see the way his body froze at the site of her. "Nat, what are you doing here?"

She gave a shaky wave, silently praying her voice didn't shake as well. "I, um, figured it was time to pick up my stuff. I'm sorry I used the key, but I put it on the counter for you. I just knocked for ten minutes but no one answered so," She trailed off, and Noah shook his head.

"Its fine. Do you want me to help?"

Natalia waved him off, giving him a small, forced smile. "Its fine, I'm almost done anyway."

With that, she went back into the bedroom, her heart hammering in her chest. She grabbed a shirt of hers laying on the bed, gripping it between her fingers as she shut her eyes, as an attempt to both calm her tears and hands.

She reopened her eyes and folded up a few more things before grabbing the box and heading to the entryway. Noah was in the kitchen, his fingers playing with the key Natalia left on the counter.

"I should get going." Natalia said, placing the box down for a moment. "But I do have a few things for you."

She handed him a small bag, which Noah knew contained clothes Natalia loved wearing. Noah had barely peeked into the bag before he shook his head, giving it back to her. "Keep it."

"I-I can't, Noah-"

"I want you to." Noah objected, "You wore those better, and more than, I ever did. They're yours." He said softly, giving her a smile that broke her heart all over again.

She nodded, taking back the bag from his grip, then bent down to pick up her box before remembering what Alexis told her. Natalia stood up once again, reaching up to unclasp the chain around her neck and held it out to Noah.

"What is this?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowed till his gaze saw the pendant in the chain. "You wore that?"

Natalia nodded, her cheeks growing red. "I know we're broken up, but I- I couldn't bring myself to stop wearing it. I put it on a chain because I figured I could at least hide it that way. I'm sorry if that seems weird."

Noah shook his head, letting out a rough sigh. "I can't take that either."

"Noah, its an engagement ring. You can't expect me to keep it, you're gonna get engaged again in the future." Natalia forced out, and Noah shook his head.

"No, Natty, I won't."

"What are you talking-"

"I don't want to get engaged again, because you're the only girl I wanted a future with and I ruined that, okay? I ruined everything good because I got in over my head and I became a fucking mess. I- I don't want you to give me back the ring and the key because that means its real, and I don't want it to be." He said, meeting her gaze. "I don't want to let you go."

"But you did!" Natalia exclaimed, moving one hand to wipe angrily at her tears that formed in her eyes during his speech. "You said I was too selfish, that I was too focused on myself and my career, and you pushed me away! You always, always pushed me away and you never stopped to think that your constantly travelling and your press trips were ruining me and you, you-" She broke off, a hand covering her lips as a sob escaped her, shaking her head slightly.

Noah pulled Natalia into his arms as soon as she had cut herself off, one hand running through her hair while the other held her tightly. "I fucked up, I fucked up so bad and I'm so sorry, baby, I'm sorry." He whispered into her hair, his cheek resting against the top of her head as he allowed her to let out all her frustration and tears, her hands gripping the end of his shirt tightly.

"Why did you let me go?" She mumbled into his chest, pulling away slightly to meet his gaze.

He let out a sigh, moving the hand that was in her hair to wipe the tears that fell from her eyes. "I thought letting you go would be easier than us being together but never seeing each other. I know now that it was stupid, because here I am, three months later, and I'm watching you take your things when all I want to do is grab them and keep them here, so I know I have an excuse to keep seeing you."

He let out a sigh, "I still love you, Natalia. And I want you back, even though I know I fucked up and don't deserve you."

Natalia shook her head, pulling herself out of Noah's hold. "No, no you don't have any right to say that to me! You ruined me, Noah, okay? I've been crying my eyes out for weeks because of you and you think one speech will make it okay?"

Before Noah could say anything else, Natalia opened the palm of his hand and dropped the ring in it. "If you care enough to want to work through this, think of a better way to apologize."

With that, Natalia exited the apartment with her belongings, tears still threatening to spill from her eyes.