I cannot look at myself in the mirror. It pains me too much. I cannot bear to look at what I had done to myself, even though it was accidental, I just can't. It makes me sick to the stomach.
I want to look sometimes. To peak in the mirror and look at how I can free myself from the prison of my mind and body.
I don't and won't ever. I don't dare. I would find flaws instead. Flaws that I have missed when putting myself through all this.
My life is now a pit of darkness with no way of escaping. I would cry but the tears stopped long ago. Just like my confidence and strength to stay strong.
Self hatred fills my veins each and every day. Non-stop. Leaving me in my shell of a body and with a mind that has turned me against myself.
There is no way out...or so it seems.
My mind screams at me to fix each and every one of my flaws. It gets to hard to handle but when I open my mouth...nothing comes out. It never does.
How can I free myself from the darkness?
There has to be a way out.
I must find it.
