Romance Briefs

Romance Briefs: Online Chronicles -Try, try again

The Right Mr. Wrong

Most women put their profiles on dating sites in order to find Mr. Right. Not this cookie. She'd gone through 7 different Mr. Rights in the past 2 years. Each of them fit the bill perfectly, but it didn't take but a month before she felt trapped...trapped like a rat in a cage with an unlimited supply of the cheese she didn't like. So, that must mean that she had the wrong definition of Mr. Right, right?

It occurred to her that her judgement might be askew. What she thought was right was something that must have been crammed into her brain when she wasn't looking. You know a product of her tranquil, secure and upscale environment. Therefore, what she thought was right for her was simply wrong. It did not occur to her that any shades of grey existed, no, what was wrong must be right.

The wonderful world of dating sites was going to be her ticket to catch a different kind of fish by simply constructing the perfect profile.

She was 24 years old, but she was convinced that she needed to change course, specifically when it came to men. The men she had been dating never surprised her, oh sure, they would try to surprise her with a gift or a new place, but that's not what she wanted. She wanted the person to surprise her. Her relationships in the past were like peeling an onion and seeing layer after layer of...onion.

In the profile she wrote, "Are you a rebel? If you are, I don't want you to prove it to me; on the contrary. I want to discover it. I want to be surprised over time by dormant passions or talents you possess. I'm probably going to have a hard time finding you because I'm asking for a future discovery in the present." She thought to herself that she was making this too difficult for any man, but then she thought, 'why not make it even more difficult' by adding "Men who insist on looking or acting the part of 'rebel' need not apply".

It didn't take too long before she got her first nibble. One guy just wrote "give me a try, you'll find out". That was creepy from the get go. She looked at the picture and thought 'Ah...no, psychopaths are not on my menu'. She blocked that fella without hesitation.

Then she got this; 'I guess you're trying to correct some of your earlier attempts by fishing with dynamite. I would say that you've experienced buyer's remorse and are looking to dramatically alter your course. Am I correct?'

'The nerve of this guy correctly assessing my motives! Who does he think he is my therapist?!!' But after looking at his picture, (there were two; one in a suit and the other wearing what she thought might be a shirt that had been found in some back alley behind a homeless shelter), she decided to let cooler heads prevail. He didn't look like a rebel. Hmm, she thought, that's one of the things I asked for; let's see what else he's got besides trying to see inside my head.

"How often do you wear suits?" she wrote back, tackling just one piece at a time.

"I'll wear a suit and tie when the occasion calls for it...or nothing at all if it's appropriate" came back his reply.

"So, what do you do for a living?" again, one piece at a time.

"I dig really large and precise holes in the ground"

"You mean like with a steam shovel?" she wrote back.

"They don't come powered by steam anymore. The one I operate has 3,000 horsepower. It's a CAT 3512C, but that may or may not mean anything to you. Let's just say it's my instrument and I proudly play it".

What did a shovel operator want with me? She thought. Or, more to the point, what do I want with a shovel operator? Then she read the message again and got stuck on the way he referred to his CAT 3512C as an instrument that he proudly played. "I don't know where this is leading", she thought, "but I've been wrong so many times in the past, I might as well find out".