3 weeks have past and i still can't face to go back to work. i've been sick a few times, i thought it was because of stress or because of what i had eaten. but then i realised it could be something more.
i put on some clothes that were on the floor and did my hair into a messy bun. i rushed out my apartment with big sunglasses on my eyes so no one i knew could notice me. i rushed to my nearest pharmacy and and ran through the isles until i found it.
i picked up a few pregnancy tests and ran to the check out section. the man looked at me funny as i was tapping my foot rapidly. when he had finished scanning and i had paid he said good luck to me. this only made me more nervous.
i rushed back home and tried the first pregnancy test. i didn't want to look at it. i was too scared to. 10 minutes had last and i still didn't look. i was just too scared
i took my hands away from my eyes and saw what i really didn't want to see. the words pregnant on the test. i began to cry. the word cry is an understatement, i was bawling into my sweatshirt.
all my thoughts began taking over my mind. i'm too young to have a baby, i'm only 20, i'm a baby myself. how will i look after it? i don't have enough money for anything. how will i tell my family? wait. who is the father ?
oh my god, who is the father. i'm disgusting, i don't even know who the father is. oh god. should i tell them? wait no i can't tell them both. that's horrible. i'm a horrible human being. this child doesn't deserve me as a mother. i'm horrible.
maybe i do have to go to work, maybe i have to go and see ethan, maybe i should mask the reception if i could have graysons number.
arg i want to kill myself. i can't deal with this...
