Gangster | Kim Taehyung

17

I swiftly crept into my room, closing and locking the door. My heart is beating like michin(crazy). My mind is racing just like my simjang(heart). I shouldn't be falling for someone who I gave up on. I shouldn't be etched in love and conflict. I should be at home, living a normal life, not having any worries besides paying bills and putting food on the table. 

Instead, I'm in a warehouse where other men reside, contemplating whether I love Chanyeol or Taehyung. Heck, do I even know what love is? 

What do I do?

The kiss with the real Taehyung was amazing. I was in a state of bliss.

The kisses and etc. with Chanyeol were also amazing. 

I wanted to stand up for myself, yet I let down my guard for my life; I got stuck in the web of love.

Chanyeol—the man who sent his men to capture me with his incentives being otherwise than to keep me as a worthless captive—took care of me. He kept me safe from a notorious gang, that being lead by my childhood best friend who I fell to my knees for, except his bad persona. He kept me safe in exchange for tending his gang. Chanyeol didn't inflict fright on me, nor did he do anything to me that I didn't want. He cared for me. 

Maybe I love him...do I?

Taehyung—the man who I fell to my knees for, begging for his love at the peek of my childhood—was unreadable. You could not read his mind no matter how long you stare intently at him, the only readable thing being his facial expressions. He was and still is unknown. He holds another in him, another him. He shares thoughts and actions with a bad persona. That bad persona is the depiction of gangster Taehyung. He has no good intentions, only to inflict his greed and power over others. My heart beats for the real Taehyung. 

Do I love him or is my mind playing games?

- - -

Days had passed and EXO finally came back. 

I was in the kitchen and Taehyung was in his room when they all walked in. They greeted me, leaving to their rooms besides Chanyeol.

He slid his arms around me in a soft hug.

"Did anything happen?", he questioned. 

"Hm? Oh, no," I assured. I felt flustered at the memory of my incident with Taehyung.

Chanyeol smiled at me, hugging me tighter and resting his chin on my shoulder. My heart beat faster at his scent; I sort of missed it. I hugged back when he let go.

"Y/n," he said. His voice hinted happiness and intent.

"Hm?" I smiled at him.

"Uhh-", he looked down at the ground smiling then looked back up at me,"-this is very sudden, but I can't hold back any longer...be my girlfriend, Y/n." 

My eyes widened in surprise.

"Um-", I slightly panicked, pausing for a moment to think,"-give me a minute?" I said. He nodded and I turned around.

Girlfriend?

Oh God, I was never anyone's girlfriend before!

WHAT DO I DO??

you want this, a tiny voice in my head said.

Do I really? I argued back at it.

go ahead, just say it already, it said.

I inhaled to calm my nerves. Slightly turning on my heels, I looked at Chanyeol who had a look of anticipation lingering on his face. 

Say it already, Y/n.