How To Write a Book

Short Stories

This is a silly and very weird story:                                                                                                                                                     Elizabeth Rabbit was thinking about Rachel Willis again. Rachel was a ruthless tiger with tall hair and beautiful eyes.

Elizabeth walked over to the window and reflected on her cozy surroundings. She had always loved picturesque Moscow with its tame, tense tunnels. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel anxious.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a ruthless figure of Rachel Willis.

Elizabeth gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a sympathetic, sinister, tequila drinker with curvy hair and skinny eyes. Her friends saw her as a wet, wandering wolf. Once, she had even made a cup of tea for a boiled baby bird.

But not even a sympathetic person who had once made a cup of tea for a boiled baby bird, was prepared for what Rachel had in store today.

The rain hammered like thinking wolves, making Elizabeth stressed. Elizabeth grabbed a warped book that had been strewn nearby; she massaged it with her fingers.

As Elizabeth stepped outside and Rachel came closer, she could see the envious glint in her eye.

Rachel gazed with the affection of 3057 vile hissing horses. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want affection."

Elizabeth looked back, even more stressed and still fingering the warped book. "Rachel, I just don't need you in my life any more," she replied.

They looked at each other with lonely feelings, like two teeny-tiny, tame tigers loving at a very hopeful funeral, which had alternative rock music playing in the background and two cowardly uncles partying to the beat.

Elizabeth regarded Rachel's tall hair and beautiful eyes. "I feel the same way!" revealed Elizabeth with a delighted grin.

Rachel looked sad, her emotions blushing like a bumpy, brave blade.

Then Rachel came inside for a nice shot of tequila.

THE END 

Another weird one: (A/N plz keep in mind I am making this up as I go and I'm not trying, going completely against my own advice, yeah, I know thts a hypocrite move but this is just a fun book)

Jack Ramsbottom looked at the minuscule book in his hands and felt angry.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his deprived surroundings. He had always loved creepy Cardiff with its kind, knotty kettles. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel angry.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Chad Smith. Chad was an arrogant lover with red eyelashes and short legs.

Jack gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a grateful, admirable, cocoa drinker with ample eyelashes and curvy legs. His friends saw him as a stale, sticky saint. Once, he had even helped a smoked old lady cross the road.

But not even a grateful person who had once helped a smoked old lady cross the road, was prepared for what Chad had in store today.

The sleet rained like boating dogs, making Jack delighted.

As Jack stepped outside and Chad came closer, he could see the prickly glint in his eye.

Chad gazed with the affection of 3091 considerate rotten rats. He said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want a resolution."

Jack looked back, even more delighted and still fingering the minuscule book. "Chad, hands up or I'll shoot," he replied.

They looked at each other with stressed feelings, like two mouldy, mashed mice drinking at a very sweet bar mitzvah, which had classical music playing in the background and two lovable uncles cooking to the beat.

Suddenly, Chad lunged forward and tried to punch Jack in the face. Quickly, Jack grabbed the minuscule book and brought it down on Chad's skull.

Chad's red eyelashes trembled and his short legs wobbled. He looked healthy, his emotions raw like a broad, burnt blade.

Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Chad Smith was dead.

Jack Ramsbottom went back inside and made himself a nice mug of cocoa.

THE END 

Ok, I feel like y'all are judging me so... ON TO THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!!