Everything that falls breaks.........

Ericka.....

Whenever a child talks about heartbreak all we do is laugh , we say things like its not your age to experience such things or you don't even know what a heart break is! Well I believe that heartbreak can be felt by any age. 

Well.... I experienced my first heartbreak when I was in 5th grade! Not due to some boyfriend but due to friendship! And yea it suckssss... cause when you end a relationship the void could be filled later or sooner but when you end your so-called friendship it suck! Well both does but...

So I was friends with a girl named Erika since kindergarden. Our families were also very closed and she was my bestie. If there's a party where I am invited and she isn't I won't go or she'll tag along and vice-versa! We were practically sisters. I used to go to her place anytime I want and she would do the same ..kind of like an extended family . We never had any secrets in between, if anythings with me she would be the first person I'd tell and she would do the same . We used to have sleepovers and parties consisting only 2 of us! I really was lucky to have her by my side if anything happens . 

But one day I came to know that they were shifting to another state! I was shocked! Cause staying away with a person with whom you spend every day together....... It was during the end of 4th grade. We decided to make the best of it by spending as much time possible. We made our plans to meet often .Since she was moving to the next state it was a 4 hour drive ... We agreed to call daily and video call every alternate days. We'll tell each other about our school life and friends .. and thus our vacation started...

As the days passed our conversations reduced... we would talk like once in 2 days and she would act like nothings wrong... It felt strange.. She would be busy most of the times and thus cancelling our plans.. 2 weeks passed and I felt like I am the only one whose making an effort in our friendship ....a feeling which was never felt before.... there were so many things I wanted to tell her but couldn't due to reasons unknown. Whenever we used to hangout or talk on phone it never felt the same, and when I'll ask for reason for not hanging out the only reply which I got was "I am busy packing " or " you know na how much it is left to pack" 

One day when I was running some errands I found her on the streets with some friends from school.. I was shocked! But she waved at me and came over across the street where I was-

" Thank god I found you here! They were jus asking me about you and I said that Jess doesn't like bowling , isnt it Jess?"

I was stunned.. From when did she started hanging out with Tessa and group they were the popular guys form our school and she knows how much Tessa despise me!

I felt hurt well.. If you don't like hanging out with me then just say it! you don't have to make some lame excuses! I cried that night and kept denying the fact that Ericka can even think of breaking our friendship of 6 years! I can't even think of a life without her! 

After few days I again found her hanging around with them . during whole vacation she was enjoying with her new friends and I was wasting mine on her. Soon she shifted and our talking ceased to exist. I felt horrible and I found myself on the verge of crying when anyone asked me " Hey! weren't you two best friends?" Its sounds lame but when you feel it , its horrible!

Then I had to meet a psychologist  and  and found out that I have severe anxiety which if not treated my fall in to 1st stage of depression stuff .

"Sometime you have to keep missing people until one day you wake and realize you don't anymore."

From that day I decided to make friends but not best friends.. I had trust issues and still  have ...

Until I met Rachel.....