BILY_1:Vague

19.You're No One

Amberley Quinn's POV

"Are you sure,You've to do this?"Joe squeezed my left palm with her hand.Her worry was visible in her face and I hate to see her like this.

"Don't worry!I will be okay.I cannot let her win again.She thought after doing this,She'll be able to stop me but no! Not anymore!Continue the ball preparation.I'll be there without her or with her but I will surely be there.After yesterday night I'm more determined than I was ever before."I said strongly.

"But you know it won't be just another ball it's literally a big trap that is to lure our enemies. To make it worse he would be there!Many people would target him.This will also be one of our test as faris.Because we've to help him without our enemies knowing and you haven't held your weapons for three years!Either way this is a great danger for you!You know if you want we can always change the date.May be I can reschedule it."She said as anxiety was dripping from her voice.
"Joe,It will be okay!"I replied to assure her but I really don't know if it is okay or not.It'll be definitely not okay!

"You're not understanding!I can't lose you for your recovery !At least even in this way I can touch you and feel you!I know what am I doing is not what a faris do?I am being selfish!But seriously I don't care even if I have to face her every night,I will.But I won't let another piece of me to be lost.I've already lost so much,that I cannot afford anything to lose more."She said in a desperate voice. Before 16 hours she was the one who was giving me courage but after witnessing yesterday's night even she is nervous.I looked at her new wound in her forehead.Only she and the Almighty knows how many times I have hurt her emotionally and physically.She's one of the persons for whom I want to live for.She's my inspiration.But I'm breaking her day by day.

"Joe please let me face it.Everything is controlled by the Almighty. If he wants, I'll live more but not this way by hurting all of you."I said as tears streamed down from my eyes.

"I am sorry!I am so sorry!I am sorry!I cannot do anything for you!I am hopeless!Why can't I do anything for my dear ones when they need me?!"She hugged me tightly.I can feel the wetness on my left shoulder where her face is.I have never seen her so terrified before.Hell!I've never seen her crying.Maybe she cried but not in front of me.  She didn't cry in front of me when that pathetic human left her.She never cried in front of me when her whole family abandoned her with her unborn child.Never did I ever saw her crying because of her brother whom she loved more than herself ,when he passed away.Maybe because she knew she held the root of our confidence,courage and happiness. If she collapsed,we'll all fall with her.But today she is crying because of her helplessness.
And her helplessness is me.
Her Cry is me.
Her sorrow is me.
Everything is because of me.
No everything is not because of me,everything is for that pathetic self of mine which became weakness of my family. But not anymore either she dies or we die.But that's certainly enough.

"No you shouldn't be.I will be now doing what I should have done a long time ago.That's enough of hide and seek.It's time to face myself!"I said as I looked at my newly bandaged hands.I couldn't see the bandage though because of the my long sleeves of my shirt.But I could still  feel the pain.It wasn't from these wounds but it was from the wounds that I gave to my beloved people.

She almost took my life yesterday.Day by day she's becoming more vicious.My people aren't safe anymore because of her.

"I know but you shouldn't go at least today.You should rest,I can deal with the academy's authority.You know I can and if that doesn't work by chance,I can just buy the whole academy."She told me seriously and I know she's not kidding.Sometimes she reminds me of my Abbu(father) because of their weird sense of humour.