Fred and George and the Elixir of Life (Year 2) (WAITING...)

Chapter 3:1

A WIZARD'S GENTLEMAN

"How do none of these fit you?!" wailed Mrs. Weasley, as she forcibly shoved another shoe onto George's right foot from the pile on the living room rug. Keeping a healthy distance away, Mr. Weasley walked bowls of steaming porridge to the breakfast table where Bill, Charlie, Percy, and Ron were watching.

"Ow!" George complained. "I can put on my own shoes, Mum."

"Hold still!"

"Why not use a widening charm?" asked Fred.

"Because," she woofed, as another pair was sent tumbling across the room, "if I add one more enhancement to any of these shoes, the leather will undoubtedly dissolve." She sat back and nodded. "These fit, don't they? Try walking."

George got to his feet and wobbled clumsily toward the front door, partly due to the oversized shoes and partly from the after-effects of switching bodies with his twin brother.

"Bit on the tricky side," he attempted. "But I can manage."

Molly looked as if she was holding in a scream. "George — just walk! Have you traded legs with a flamingo?"

He shrugged and she yanked him back to the couch.

"What's wrong with the shoes we've been wearing all summer?"

"Fred's missing one all of a sudden... and you..." Molly lifted his shoe and looked at him through a cavernous hole before tossing it on the pile.

Arthur chose this as the right time to offer advice and support. Bill tried to stop him.

"I'm sure it can be patched, can't it, Molly? You sorted Fred's heel, didn't you?"

"No... that was George's left shoe."

"My mistake," Mr. Weasley replied. He took a step toward his wife, unaware that each of his boys were shaking their heads. "I've just seen you work wonders when it comes to patching our clothes."

"Patching clothes is one thing. Patching shoes is another," she said exasperatedly, aiming her frustrations at him. "And I haven't the faintest idea how you came to the conclusion — that you had married a cobbler?"

As Arthur retraced his steps to the kitchen, George swung his foot back and forth to hear the detached sole smack freely against his heel. He looked over with envy at Fred, who was now comfortably wearing Percy's shoes from second year.

"Oh, so he gets the shoes that fit," he grumbled to his mother. "Playing favorites already?"

Mrs. Weasley wiped her brow and snared Fred. She pulled off one of his shoes and handed him another. "Fine, you each get one that fits. George, you're left. Fred... right."

"Hear that, Percy? I'm right for once."

"Hmm... that's saying something," Percy responded, spoon in hand.

"Did you say something?" Fred asked bewilderingly.

Percy blinked and leaned away. "What?"

Fred simply stared back at him until Percy gave up and returned to his porridge.

"There," Molly stated with finality. "Let me have a look at you. That's fine. Is that fine?"

"Do you really want us to answer that question?" George murmured, off balance.

"What does fine mean, really?" Fred inquired.

"Arthur?"

"Yes."

"Remind me why I can't use my wand on these boys?"

"The practice has been outlawed, Molly."

"Are you sure?" she pressed. Based on where Fred and George were looking, they were searching the ground floor for the best places to hide in a hurry.

"We've had this discussion many times. If I recall correctly, it was the Decree for the Restriction of Improper Domestic Coddling and Conditioning," Arthur noted, playing along. "And... the boy is their friend. I very much doubt he cares about the quality of their shoes."

Molly let out her breath like a leaking balloon and she flopped back on the rug. "The Jordans are practically royalty."

Fred was crafting a joke in his mind about apologizing to His Highness for their paltry choice of lower-class garb but thought better of it when he noticed George shaking his head.

"And this..." Molly erupted. She crawled to the cloudy bricks of the fireplace and seized the vial that the twins had found among Errol's envelopes. "Sparkfire's Finest Floo Powder. Do they think we're too... that we can't afford floo powder? And it's orange! Why orange? Am I missing something? Is the color so significant?"

She stood and rounded on her other children, all of whom were focused on their bowls of porridge, feigning deafness.

"Do they think we're in need of floo powder?" she continued, rushing the cracked flower pot on the mantle. She tilted it forward and frowned. "We do need more, actually."

"Molly..." Arthur attempted.

"What's wrong with our floo powder? I honestly would like to know."

Mrs. Weasley shook the flower pot as she spoke, sending glittery dust to the stone floor.

"For one, it's homemade," said Fred bravely.

"The Jordans bought their floo powder," George agreed.

"The Jordans bought their floo powder..." she repeated ruefully. "Why on earth would anyone buy floo powder? It's not going to get you there any faster."

Ron looked worriedly at Percy. Charlie reacted by sliding a swift and steady hand over their brother's mouth, rendering him unable to offer an unsuitable opinion.

"It's ludicrous. Complete waste of coins. They have Sickles to bin, do they?" she grumbled, more to herself than anyone. "Well, not in this family, I tell you. Here I am, unable to clothe my own children. Oh, look! It's Wednesday. Let's just nip over to the shops. Two matching pairs of shoes, if you please. And a pair of cloaks with silver fastenings, and two pairs of socks, and a pair of winter mittens, and a pair of... Does anyone know what a challenge it is to dress twins when all you have to work with are hand-me-downs?"

Fred and George looked on helplessly, feeling much younger than twelve at that moment. They stood alongside their mother as she winced and turned away.

"Must I do everything?"

Fred smiled comfortingly. "But you do it so well."

Molly sighed and looked up at him. She touched his cheek and held his gaze. "Thank you, dear. And sorry for yelling, George. It's just — sometimes it feels like — "

"It's all right, Mum. I'm sure I deserved it for a different reason."

"We'll get along fine," said Fred reassuringly.

"Weasleys always do," George finished.