2018-09-15 》 2.15am 》 00:44:26
"We are the children that don't grow up to become somebody.
We are the children that can't be somebody.
We are your children."
wach
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"At first I didn't know how to speak to him. I was never really shy but when it came to him I was feeling a bit anxious."
Oh how Youngjae knew that feeling well.
He himself was being a very cheerful and happy guy when he was around friends or people he knew and liked.
Talking to strangers was another thing.
When he got to talk through the phone with people opening completely up about themselves he felt okay but when it came to talking to people on the street or making new friends in general he got really shy.
And when these new people were attractive as well it could be a living hell for him.
"I know what you are talking about. Starting a conversation with new people can be really hard..."
Shifting in his chair and stretching himself the strawberry blond boy began to listen once again.
"Detective Conan"
Nodding and completely forgetting about that Def wasn't actually with him in the same room and couldn't have seen it he hummed to understate the others words.
"It was the first thing we ever talked about. And even that was just a coincidence. On that day I saw him sitting there again and reading a manga.
I was going home from school and was a bit late. I could have gone the faster way but I had a feeling. And then i walked up to him and we just talked."
"So how'd it feel?"
"It was great. You said talking to new people wasn't quite your thing but have you ever met someone with whom you could talk like you already knew each other for years?"
Yes, in that certain moment.
If Youngjae would have gone through all the conversations he ever had started with strangers up here and in real life, nothing did ever seem as pure as this.
He could talk to him without stuttering and with a sudden certanity he felt like Def was that one person.
Def was settled and knew what he was talking about but at the same time so much emotions were coming through his story and infecting the boy that was soaking in his deep voice like a sponge in warm water.
But nevertheless, Youngjae wouldn't say that to him. What if he got flustered and closed himself up again, now that the other finally had the feeling that he was completely telling the truth?
"Yeah, i have. It felt like home."
"Ars?"
"Huh?"
"That was beautiful."
If you saw the younger boy sitting there you would have probably noticed a dusty pink tone appearing on his rosy cheeks, making him look even more lively than he already did.
Getting a compliment from this certain male made his heart strangely beat a bit faster.
It was completely insane, knowing that this conversation would end soon anyways and he would never ever find out who he really was. But Youngjae felt like he had a connection to him, in some way that was different from others.
"U-uhh thanks..."
"Anyways, I have never experienced it until that one day. We were chatting and laughing for hours until it got dark around us and the sun went down. Since then we met there everyday."
Even though it were sweet memories the other had shared with this boy called Jinyoung, he sounded sad.
Something seemed off and he could almost feel a weird tense in the mood.
"But it didn't stay like this, did it?"
"You are right, it didn't. People change, you know."
God, how he hated this statement.
People change.
He experienced it in so many ways.
People die and get born.
Nature is destroyed and repairs again.
Bonds are broken because of Greed and Envy, only to be fixed up again in the end.
Time is relative but it exists.
And if time exists so does change.
Of course you can't say that changes are bad at all.
Youngjae often does think about this.
He never seemed to really have persons around him that stayed longer than just a little period of time in his life.
He wasn't mad, though.
Actually, he couldn't.
People meet and have to go their own ways when they need to.
Even though it was lonely sometimes.
-
this chapter is dedicated to 서르나.
i hope you won't forget me, even though i was the baddest friend you could ever have.
i am sorry.
