That Silver Lining

The Concept Of Space

Hey lovelies
Here's another chapter
It's what I think we all need to know
Read on and let me know what you think❤

It's Personal!
Don't you understand 'Personal space'?
Why are you invading my privacy?
It doesn't concern you!
It's not your story to tell!
Don't suffocate me!
I need room to breathe!

Sounds familiar?
Well, I'm sure we've all heard and mentioned any of this at one point in time or another
Everybody has a space
Every space has a boundary
Every space has a internal environment and a surrounding
There are a lot of spaces
The emotional space
The mental space
And the physical space
And each one has barriers

But wait!
Do we really understand the concept of space?
Do we know what it means when we say we need space?
Do we know what our personal spaces and bubbles mean?
Do we know how to protect ours?
At the same time, do we know not to invade that of others?

Everyone you meet has a space
Everyone deserves a space
Yes, we're social beings
But even those social beings have their own inner thoughts, inner demons, dreams, hopes, strengths, aspirations, challenges, fears, triggers and so much more
Respect that!
Sometimes it gets too much
You have a right to withdraw and recharge
You have a right to censor who gets into your space
You owe yourself that

And today, know that you have a copyright to each and everything inside of you
You deserve to only show or tell those things to who you want to
It's something you deserve
It's something you shouldn't compromise on
If you want someone in your bubble,
If you feel they deserve that space, then give it to them
If you feel they don't, stand firm and don't allow anyone to make you feel they're entitled to a part of you
It's your decision to make
Your story to tell
And your life to live
Don't forget it

A lot of people fail to realize that as much as you have your own bubble, you shouldn't try to sabotage someone else's if you're not invited into this bubble
So many people nowadays just don't get it!
You can't go around asking questions you've not gained express right to get answers to
You can't ask people about personal issues casually if you haven't even crossed their mental boundaries
It's just wrong and degrading
Yeah some people don't know how and when to say NO or how to deflect these prying eyes, hands and mouths
They don't know how to defend themselves against all these infringement into personal territory
You owe it to them not to capitalize on that

What we all don't understand is that a lot of people have so many triggers
You might not think your prying affects them
You might not think your negativity gets to them
You might not think those hurtful comments they didn't even ask you for hit them where it hurts
You might not know if drives them just a little bit crazy
But the truth is, we never know how our actions affect others till its too late

Sometimes we think we want to help
We see someone and say, I want to be there for this person
You can be there by allowing them open up to you
By slowly but surely breaking down their walls
Allowing them to heal through time, care, thoughtfulness and sincere attention
Not for the fun of it,
Not by taking a sledge hammer to their walls just because you think you want to help
It doesn't
It just triggers them at their worst
Maybe yeah, they're now exposed to you
Probably because they couldn't bring up those walls fast enough
But the hurt is so much worse and youre not prepared for what you are facing
And when faced with all of it at once, you tend to get overwhelmed and fuck things up

Yeah, I get that time might be limited
They might be breaking down much too fast for you to be all that patient
But you still have to make a connection
Not just any connection, a meaningful connection
A connection that means something to them
That tells them what time and words cannot
That shows them that they can trust you
That they can talk to you
That you wouldn't scream running away from their demons
That you're there to help
You have to show them
Not just tell them

Understand that breaching this space comes in a variety of ways
It might be asking a question you have no right to answers to
It might be making a comment you weren't even asked for
It might be as serious as trying to play on their insecurities
Or as simple as touching personal effects
Everyone has a right to their space
To their feelings and their fears
To their strengths and their weaknesses
If they're not ready to show you
Or if you feel like you don't have a right to them
Then just work on having that right
Not just trying to get into territory you have no idea about
Just because you're curious
Or maybe a little insensitive
Or even feel like you're doing the right thing

Sometimes our heart makes us push people
Cos we love them
And we want to be a part of their lives
We want to connect on a deeper level
We want answers to the questions we're asking
Yet we rush
If you do not earn the right to their personal space,
If you do not earn a right to be a part of that mental space they hold dear,
Then don't go for it yet
Don't be a pest!

Personal space is important
Don't be rude
Don't be insensitive
It takes time to unveil who you are to a person
Sometimes you work and work on it
But in the end, you just do not click
And their person is hidden from you
But the same way you might have failed with this person
Is the same way some have failed with you
It doesn't justify prying
It doesn't justify hate
It doesn't justify bullying
Just let it go
Somewhere, somehow, there are people that can break through for them
Just like there are people that can break through for you too
Be patient!
These things take time

I hope this helps you guard your space
And helps you respect that of others
Tell me what you think!
I love you
You should too❤