Addiction (Book One of the Addiction Series)

Chapter 3

My first three classes are just as bad as homeroom, and by lunch I am exhausted both mentally and physically. My creaking, jonesing body protests with every shuffle-step I take toward an empty table in the cafeteria, and my brain is so tired from feeling ashamed that all I want to do is lie down on the floor and sleep. I think about going to the nurse and trying to go home early, but I know that will only start more rumors.

Plus, Lily will be there.

I sit down at the last table in the far corner of the cafeteria. My skin prickles at the dull roar of chatter coming from every other table in the cavernous concrete room, and I pull my hood up again as I settle into the corner near the window. I set down my tray and rest my head against the thick glass for just a moment, looking out at the busy street beyond. Just that window and a small strip of grass stands between me and that street, between me and freedom. I could sneak out now and start walking and never come back. Maybe that's what I should have done before. My parents would miss me, and Lily would too, but after a while they would realize that it was for the best.

"What about this seat?"

I gasp as my body is assaulted with a thick wall of pure, undiluted magic power. Here's here.

I turn to see the guy from the bus, the cute one with the shaggy hair and the sweet smile. He's standing at the end of my table, holding a tray. He picked the pizza like me. "Um... what?"

"The seat next to you on the bus was taken, but what about this one? Can I sit here?"

"Oh... uh... I don't know..." I look around the cafeteria. There are a few empty seats interspersed here and there, but they are all at tables where everyone seems to know each other. Doesn't he fit into any of those groups? Why does he want to sit with me?

"I'm new here," he explains, as if he is reading my mind. "I've been here a few days, but I'm still kind of like the outcast. You kind of seem like an outcast too, so I was wondering if maybe we could be outcasts together?" He gives me a hopeful grin and something in my stomach lurches so hard I feel nauseous.

"Uh... I'm not sure you want to sit here," I said honestly. "I'm more than an outcast. I'm like... a leper."

"Good thing I'm up to date on all my shots then." He sits down at the end of the table, on the same side as me. There is one seat between us, but I wish there were more. The energy radiating from him is intoxicating; it is making me dizzy. I try to eat a bit of pizza to give myself some strength.

"You're Danika Rose," he says, through a bite of his own pizza. He got pepperoni, I notice. I have plain cheese. "I've heard about you."

"Oh." Whatever is left of my spirit falls. I hadn't had any illusions about becoming friends with this guy (or possibly more), but now that I know that he knows what I am, I feel rejected already.

"I'm Adam Keene. Have you heard about me?" He is grinning. Is this a joke?

"Uh... no?"

"Good. Then we can start fresh." He nods and takes another big bite of pizza.

"Not if you know who I am..." I am almost alarmed to hear my own voice. I didn't mean to say that out loud. I am not supposed to talk to people, I am not supposed to try to make connections in any way – I made a firm rule for myself. If you don't share anything with anyone, they can't take anything away from you. If you don't let them get close to you, you can't hurt them.

His smile is kinder this time, but it isn't full of pity like one might expect. "Hey, we all make mistakes. And you got help. You're brave."

I make a "pfft" sound. Brave? Me? Yeah, right.

"Addiction is not something you can control, it's like a disease. You shouldn't feel ashamed that it got the better of you. It's a tough monkey to get off your back. I should know."

"You?" I am sitting up straighter now, drawn in by him against my will, and not just because of his magic.

"Yeah. Let's just say I have a lot of experience in that department..."

"Because of... because of your..." Even just the word is making me salivate. "Magic?"

He waits a beat, looking into my eyes, which are probably crazed with a hunger I am trying desperately to keep at bay. "You can feel it," he says. I can't tell if he is creeped out by that or not.

I nod.

"I'm sorry, maybe I should move then. That's why you didn't want me to sit with you on the bus, right? It's too tempting. I'm sorry, I should go."

He makes to stand up, and I surprise us both by reaching out to catch his arm. My fingers brush his sleeve, but I stop myself before they can make contact with his skin in any way. I can feel it even more strongly now, and it is all I can do to take my hand away and cross my arms over my chest. The room is spinning and I swallow hard as I try to focus on his face. "No, I'm okay. Or I... I want to be, at least. You don't have to go. I won't do anything."

He thinks about it for a second. It touches me that he is more concerned about what he is doing to me than what I could do to him, and that is why I want him to stay. He is the only one who has looked at me with anything less than disdain or outright fear for weeks. "Okay, I'll stay. But if it gets to be too much, let me know, okay?"

"Okay."

He settles back down. He starts to say something, then hesitates, as if he isn't sure he should. "My mother... she was like you. It started when I was born. I was full of so much magic, even in the womb, that she got addicted to the power. Once I was born, she went into withdrawal. She tried to fight it, but pretty soon she was doing anything she could to get a fix. She was chasing down strangers on the street, buying canisters of magic in alleys from sketchy guys in trenchcoats. But she never would take it from me... I was so afraid that my using the magic would make things even worse for her that I've never used it in my life."

"Never?" That surprises me most of all. To think of all the things someone could do with all that power... He could read minds, he could create objects out of thin air, he could shoot fire from his hands, he could conjure up a storm with just a twist of his thoughts. But he hasn't done any of it. He's never even tried.

"Never. That's why it's so strong. Magic wants to be used and until it is, it keeps building and building until the body has to release it somehow."

I know this from experience. I think back to when I used to siphon off more and more of little Lily's magic over a period of days, weeks, months, wanting just to feel it in my veins, to hold it inside me forever. But the more magic I took in, the more it rattled and buzzed and trembled inside me, wanting to be released. It was a heady feeling, incredible, but he was right – magic wasn't meant to be held in. It wanted to be free.

"But since I have so much magic, it has caused other people to come out of the woodwork to try to take it from me. People like my mom and like drug dealers who want it for themselves or to sell, and people like scientists who want to study me in a lab somewhere. That's why I moved to this small town. I was trying to stop causing trouble for everyone around me. But now I'm going to cause trouble for you..."

"No, you're not." I shake my head firmly. Now that he has told me his story, I feel a bit stronger. Strangely, liking him more makes me more sure that I can maintain my control, that I can resist my urges. "They taught me some stuff at rehab that will help. I might be a bit weird around you for a while, but over time I'll get used to it. I'll get better."

"Over time?" He smiles as if this is more than he could have hoped for. "You want me to stick around long enough for you to get used to me?"

I shrug. I can feel my cheeks burning. "I don't hate your idea of the outcasts sticking together," I say, as I take another bite of pizza. It tastes like sand, but somehow that's wonderful.

"I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship," he teases me, quoting Casablanca.

"Or a tragic YA novella," I counter. He laughs, and that thing in my stomach flops over again. I'm not sure how this will all end, but I think I am enjoying the beginning.