Mess Is Mine • The Pack

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-One

Jerome told himself he would talk to Mitch. He thought about it constantly, but it was never the right time to bring it up.

His talk with Lachlan, when he came to the conclusion that he should have a long and hard discussion with Mitch, was a month ago.

Pathetic. That is what Jerome calls it. He cowers with the facade that it's not the right time when he knows that its just him being completely and utterly terrified to know what Mitch really feels.

With Jess being released from the hospital tomorrow It became increasingly more apparent that there would never be a right time for them to talk.

What should he say? How should he say it?

Jerome's sitting across from Mitch at the table, he's eating — quite obnoxiously — the tacos that Jerome made for dinner.

Jerome has not touched his own plate. He's too busy in his own head.

How about our disagreement on marriage that's something right?

No he can't start with that.

Lachlan told me something interesting the other day..

He's not using his brother as a conversation starter.

The seconds tick by and Jerome grows gradually more and more stressed. This is something that is really bothering him and he feels like he should stop pushing it aside.

But Mitch is selectivity sensitive about certain things and what if this was one of those things? Jerome doesn't handle angry people very well. And Mitch's preferred reaction is to ignore him and Jerome hates to be ignored.

"Why did you kiss me?" He opens with, his own mouth deciding where to start for him.

Mitch's eyebrows knit together at question.

"I didn't."

"I mean, why did you kiss my hands that night? And when I kissed you - you kissed back. Why?"

Mitch stares at him, "I'm not following."

"Seven years ago. You made a nice speech about not feeling alive and got all touchy with me so I kissed you. Things got heated and you gave me a blow job and I.... accidentally... came on your face."

There is no pretty way to describe that night, but Mitch does not budge at the vulgarity, "Oh yeah I remember that. I thought it was hot."

"Really? How did you feel about it afterwards because for me, that night fucked me up for a long ass time."

"I don't know."

He rephrased his question, "It meant a lot to me. Did it to you?"

"No. I didn't think much about it."

"Oh."

Mitch frowned. "Oh?"

Jerome doesn't know what to say to this new information. Every guilty thought that he buried under the surface for years about his relationship with Mitch blooms to life and his fears light up like a wildfire by the present moment.

"Why were you the one to always initiate the kiss after that then?"

"Because we did it before," He states. "I wanted it. You wanted it. Everything that we did together— It just became second nature."

It sounds so simple. So easy. It's just what they did, but it's wasn't like that to Jerome. He wanted it because he loved him—

"I wanted it because I thought you loved me the same way I loved you," He replies, sounding almost hopeful.