Oneshots (x male reader)

Nora Valkyrie

Sorry if my jokes in it suck. I tried. Same thing for typos. And also thank you MrSouth95 for requesting.
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Funny cocky male reader x Nora Valkyrie

Everyone either loves or hates Y/n L/n. He has quite the mouth on him and is one of the cockiest people you could ever meet. Even if you hate him, you laugh at some of his jokes. It's hard not too. He has even managed to make Professor Goodwitch laugh before, despite taking 15 minutes. The young man prides the feat as his greatest accomplishment.

Y/n's pov.

       Finally, my favorite class of the day, Goodbitch. I take my seat and kick my feet up smiling. Today is a good day to kick ass and chew bubblegum. I hope whoever I go against wears their brown pants. My favorite teacher walks to the center before starting.

     "Would anyone volunteer to participate in a match today?" I raise my hand up immediately.
      "Youhoo!!! Tall, blonde, and dominatrix. I can't let you be he only one punishing a person today. Although can I borrow you handcuffs, I left mine at home." I smirk

      "Mr.Ln, please refrain from inappropriate comments or else I shall reprimand you." She glowers at me.

      "Ms.Goodwitch, if you wanted to punish me all you had to do was ask. Remember, I like it rough."She pinched the bridge of her nose. After all of the detentions she's given me you'd think she would learn. "Does anyone wish to face Mr.L/n?" A hand pops up.

      "Thank you Ms.Valkyrie. Please get ready." I head to the locker rooms and put on a black wife beater and some basketball shorts. Then I holster my weapons, dual katanas and the sheaths are shotguns. I step out and face the little girl with a giant hammer.

     "Hi there," I look at my swords," Mr.stabby, Frank, are you ready? It's good to hear you're ready to make it look like someone had sex with Edward Scissor-hands." I tell them. "Now then once I win how about you go on a date with me?" I ask the girl. She grins.

     "I'm gonna break your legs!" Damn. She's perfect for me. Has good legs and slight homicidal tendencies, swipe right indeed.

     "I think you'd break my pelvis actually. I'm not sure what crazy positions you know that would break my legs too, but I'm up for it." She blushes at that.

       "When I win your going to have to make me pancakes." She declares.

       "I'm sorry but I can make them the morning after for you too." She readies her hammer with a grin.

-timeskip because I want to-

I'm standing over a tired Nora Valkyrie as I'm smirking with my hands behind my head," Well that was fun," I stretch my hand out to her," thanks for the fun, teenaged power puff girl. Don't forget our date." She grabs it and pulls herself up.

"Can you train me? That was awesome! I can't wait for you to show me all of the cool new ways to break someone's legs!" She rambled on.

"I don't see why not. I'll be at your dorm at 6pm tonight so don't make me get dolled up better than Ru Paul for nothing." I walk off into the locker rooms to get changed.

-another timeskip-

       I knock on the door and hear a bunch of thuds and noises. The door swings open and I see the orange haired girl smiling awkwardly.
       "Well someone's excited for our date. Shall we?" I hold out my arm for her. She interlaced hers with mine and we start walking.

       "So where are we going? I mean I could eat right about now. Maybe get something from that new place in downtown Vale. Or there's this one place which has awesome pizza." She starts rambling. It's kinda cute.

     "Well first I thought we could go and eat at a certain restaurant I know and afterwards I have a surprise." I tell her

    "Wait am I dressed up enough for it? Am I underdressed? I don't want to go around looking like a hobo if I'm going for a 5 star meal, ya know?"

     "Well to put it, it would look like a Jackson Pollock painting it if I had a black light but it has good food." I tell her. It's not the classiest of bars. That and the owner owes me one or two after assisting some gentleman out the door. I was surprised he couldn't do it himself , it was so easy.

      "A who? I'm guessing that's not a good thing. But you did say hey have good food. What do they have there? Do they have pancakes? Man, I love pancakes."

"Just wait and see." I tell her. We eat and have a good time. Nora arm wrestles all of the guys in the place and kicks butt so they gave us free wings. After a while I pay for our meal and we walk out.

"It's time for the surprise! I wander what it is. I hope it's as good as that places wings."

"Well you're going to have to wait and see." She leans into me as we walk. A few guys walk to us in the dark. Once they get near us the leader points a gun at us.

"Give us your money and no one gets hurt." This is gonna be fun.

"My my, aren't you professional gangsters. I recommend holding your pistol right side up though so the shell won't fly in your face. It's okay, this isn't my first mugging so I know this stuff," I tell him. I take his gun and hold it correctly," you see you want it like this. Now a big part of mugging someone is persona. You can go for the 'big bad' act or a number of other ones but my favorite one is the sociopath. It goes a little something like this." I shoot his knee cap and bust his nose with a butt smash. "Oh shit, I always forget the most important part, asking for money. Either of you guys have a 20? I'm gonna have to pay for the bullhead home after all."I ask the two. They look at each other and run. "Oh well, so you want to break their legs or should I?" I ask Nora. She grins before sprinting off and tackling the both of them. She throws the two over to me and the one already down.

"Can we do this again next time? This was really fun." She bounces up and down.

"Well, my surprise was going to be along the lines of taking some bats and into the woods to go Jackie Robinson on some grimm. I guess we can do that next date." She grins.

"Awesome, but I'm gonna use my hammer. And Y/n?" I look at her. She jumps and wraps her arms and legs around me before kissing me on the cheek,"I had fun tonight, thanks." She jumps off of me.

"I was hoping for a little more than on the cheek as a reward but ok. Now let's go throw mo, lamabrane , and curly in jail before we go back."