My Invisible Smile

Invisible smile~4

Mellisa De Vries was one of the reasons as to why I'm so fucked up. To say she impacted my life as much I'd like to admit is an understatement because she literally ruined my 9th grade soul. That will be a story for another day because as of right now I need to gain concentration and see what the devil wants to offer.

I see her perfectly manicured nails as she clicks her finger right in front of my face to get my attention "Are you incapable of speaking or something?"  Well who in fucks name do you think you are? Oh wait... yeah..

Im in shock... the one person who could make me fall to my knees and drag me around like a wet cloth is standing right in front of me. I slowly bent my head down as a sign of submission because if I dare challenge her cold brown eyes I would be in deep shit.

" I...ia..i...sorry.. im sorry..."

Fuck I feel like a fucking puppy that's been kicked to the curb. I know this is probably the worst thing to say and the most stupid thing I could mutter but I miss her...

She was my bestfriend.

Im one of those friends where even though we decided that our friendship shouldn't commence I would still keep my loyalty... when she said she had enough and she might just give it up I still will never let her down...

She just glared at me and started walking away from me... for the second time in my life. Fuck sakes I'm wipped- actually I so deeply crave the attention and friendship from others that I'd do the worst things to gain their happiness.

Without dwelling on present events I gracefully limp towards my next class while mumbling the need of education even though we technically live to die.

Now you'd probably imagine me being the loner girl in every class but to be completely honest I'm not as bad as the bullied girls in stories and books. For example, I have nice people in my Literature class that actually mean well. Some even encourage me to sit with them during break but me being the naive, protective girl that I am, I decline.

I can still remember it like it was yesterday... I got into this new environment, one of which I'd devote my life to it and make it a memorable experience. One of which will be filled with laughter and joy. I was ecstatic, thrilled, nervous, scared but all in all, passionately overjoyed by the 2 words, one space, 10 letters, 2 syllables and one fucking wrong idea...High School.

I would personally like to sue the production of high school musical for promoting utter bullshit to young kids by selling dreams about getting into high school- singing every chance you got and making friends while jumping into someone's pool with my clothes on and kissing someone on my fathers golf course with sprinklers on. So yes, fuck you Troy Bolton and Gabriella Montez for faking everything.

As i was saying... high school was going to be the best place for a young girl like me. I was going to wake up (at 6:30)to my dad screaming at me to go shower and my mom and dog still taking their hour rest while i get ready then swiftly heading into the kitchen to find my mother making herself a cup of coffee. (so she doesn't die from lack of exhaustion.)I would be cleaning my room next and blasting music on my ipod just to wake up everyone in the house, then get into the car while waiting for my slow poke father rushing with two flasks and two sandwiches in his hands. We would then sing to abnormally and obnoxiously irrelevant hit music stations on the radio. As we get to school Id kiss him on the cheek and glance to the left and see my ultimate best-friends, Mellisa and Aurora. They'd ask me about my day so far and we'd then meet our lunch hour and just speak about stupid shit.

It all happened so quickly... its like soomeone literally snatched my life away from me. Someone took everyone I've ever loved- one by fucking one. How did I go from having more than 50 friends to nothing? How did I become a member of a group of 12 girls to being a leader of my own group. How did I go from waking up at 06:30 to 04:30 every morning? How did I go from being happy and having faith to being depressed and sinful?

"Isabella I said raise your hand." Huh.?

"Isabella Martin!"

With a dazed and confused face I turned towards my teacher who didn't look so pleased. Matter of fact she looked pissed.

"Huh?" Everyone started giggling and looking at me like I've grown 150 dicks on my head.

"I said! Raise your hand so that Jerome knows where to sit but since you blatantly ignored me for the fifth time im pretty sure he knows where to go!" What the fuck is she talking about?

"Who is Jero-oh.." as soon as I spotted the fine piece of mea- I mean as soon as I spotted the boy she was talking about my eyes literally bulged out of my sockets and my mouth hung so low on the floor that I could have possibly fit all those dicks that were on my head into my mouth.

Mother of fine art he looks like a meal... shit. I quickly caught eye contact then looked down as i moved my seat away from the one he was supposedly meant to sit at for the remaining year and a half. No ways on my nintendo dogs life will I be talking to this perfectly shaped human species.

As if he had no care in the world, he confidently walked to the seat next to mine, he slowly pulled out his chair and took hes notes out. To say all the girls in my class didn't care about his existence would be a lie because most of them were flustered just from the sight of him and others were giving noticeable side glances at him. He looked like an ordinary teenage boy... dark black silky hair, dark brown eyes, forming jawline, a bit skinny but average with a slight glow of his coloured (mixed race) skin.

I can already feel the next one and a half years of my life spiraling when he said:

"Hey, I'm Jerome. Do you smoke weed?" Then winked and chuckled.

Oh for the love of all things that fuck you sideways...

Edited: October 25
Posted: 21st November

A/n: worst chapter of my life... sadly everything i write is true...