The Lies That Bind

Chapter 24: Tension

...Danger?

Danger?

I'm in danger? In danger of what? The question and Kazmir's conversation with Gretchen swims around my head for the rest of the day and into the weekend. Kazmir still hasn't spoken to me; well not unless he needs to which is pretty much never. He's still "giving me space," I suppose.

Is Kazmir... dangerous? He hasn't hurt me, and the only time he's yelled at me seems so long ago I might as well write it off. I know he loves me, but what is he hiding? Is he secretly an abuser? My mind says no, but I want answers. There are too many red flags now. My mind is telling me no, but my heart tells me to stay. Give him until the following weekend; he said he would. I'll give him this one last week.

The weekend comes and goes and things between us remain the same. In spite of it all, I long for the relationship we had prior to all this. By Wednesday evening, my loneliness has hit critical and, in that moment, I make contact. I don't call him, a simple "come over" text will suffice. God, I'm weak. Might as well let the gang know that I will not be calling to discuss tonight's episode of Four Month Fling; I just want it to be me and him. Me, Kazmir, and a trashy show about possibly fake couples who are only in it for the fame and money; it's the perfect date night.

About 30 minutes later, the doorbell rings, I hop off the couch and hurry over. Taking a quick peek to make sure it's him; I then open the door and immediately throw my arms around him. I hold Kazmir close to me, nuzzling his chest affectionately, the contact alone makes me want to cry.

He lets out a soft grunt, taking a step back to regain his balance. Soon he follows suit as he holds me in a strong embrace. We stay like that for I don't know how long, neither saying anything. I wish we could just stay like this...

I faintly hear the jingling of a bell followed by a soft, "Mrrow?" and I quickly return to reality.

"Shit, Lark, no!" I pull myself from my boyfriend and scoop up the cat who has wandered onto the porch. "You know you're an inside kitty!"

Lark just purrs loudly in my arms as he gets comfortable.

Kazmir cracks a smile, "Koshka hasn't changed."

"He's going to give me a heart attack is what he's going to do." I shift attention back to Kazmir, "You look... casual." My eyes scan him over; he's in a mere t-shirt and jeans, a stark contrast to the high-end suit and tie I'm used to. That, and polo shirts.

He shrugs, "You only said 'come over,' wasn't sure what that entailed." He looks me over, "You're looking quite casual yourself."

I look down at my cat-emblazoned pajama pants, "I'm at home, I get to."

"So was I."

I roll my eyes and step aside to let him in, taking note of the travel bag slung over his shoulder. "Planning on staying over?" I ask as I close and secure the front door. I then let Lark free, watching him waddle into the kitchen.

"Again, I didn't know what to expect." Kazmir turns to face me, "If that's alright with you, of course. Would make getting to work tomorrow easier."

Deep down, I'm screaming "YES", but I suppress my eagerness. "Maybe," I answer teasingly as I make my way over to him. "But only if you're good."

Kazmir seems unresponsive to my playfulness as he frowns worriedly behind his glasses, his gaze elsewhere.

"Hey," I turn his head, so he's forced to look at me, "what's wrong?"

His expression hardens, "What has been wrong, Edith?"

I don't know why he's mad; he's the one with the secrets, not me. I spilt my baggage at the beginning, he's not mad as much as he's afraid. His conversation with Gretchen replays in my mind. Oh Kazzie, why can't you just tell me? Why does there have to be all this build up?