choose each other | draco and harry

s e v e n

"Mate, you sure you're all right?" Ron asked Harry at breakfast the next morning. Harry nodded, keeping his gaze fixed on his plate. His heart hadn't stopped hammering from last night, his mind was all over the place, he felt like he was still on fire and that everyone around him could see it and knew why. His body and mind felt conflicted, but he had to suppress all these thoughts and what happened in order to get through the damn day.

There was much else to think about such as The Order, DA and O.W.L.s. He had divination to look forward to this morning, and thankfully it wasn't with the slytherins. On the way to class, Harry had very briefly spotted the blonde hair that his hands had so frivolously grabbed just some moments ago, or so it felt like that. snap out of it! Harry internally scolded himself.

Trelawney's voice spoke of the Grim, spoke of inner turmoil, spoke of the stars alignments and the impact of retrograde. And it just bore Harry to death. He noticed that her bug like eyes were fixated upon Harry's slumped figure, causing him to straighten his back and cough. She sighed with worry, "poor dear, dark times do come your way." He refrained from rolling his eyes. Of course dark times would come Harry Potter's way, wasn't that just inevitable?

—————

It had been a full two weeks. And in those two weeks Harry had hardly seen Draco. It was enough time to get over what had happened; and to be honest, Harry was relieved. Even though, he admittedly at first was left wanting more, he came to the conclusion that it was purely pent up frustration. Draco had nothing to do with it. They would pointedly ignore each other, in class, in the hallways, in the dining room; scared that something like that would occur again.

However not all was good, of course. Harry's visions had worsened, in fact it was only yesterday where he had been the snake in his dreams, biting Arthur. This had panicked him, alarmed him. How could Harry be the one harming others? How had Voldemort got so deep into Harry's mind? He felt disgusted with himself. This was beyond fucked up. Everything was beyond fucked up. He was so conflicted, his mind was split between yearning and repulsion, he longed and cringed for Draco's touch. He wanted to lose himself in the cold embrace of Draco, he wanted those glass eyes to scan him over and take him to that magical place past confusion and conflict to pure heat and lust. He felt like it was only Draco who could satisfy this primal urge; he disgusted himself.

The whole vibe in Harry's dorm felt dark. It was dark; 4am in October to be precise. The harsh England wind slapped the windows and walls, mirroring Harry's heart slapping his rib cage, wanting more. But no, he told himself that moment was gone.

God he was exhausted, utterly consumed with fatigue and numbness. He had been going through the days with a daze, which was unusual as a lot what going on. The DA was really kicking off, Halloween was growing nearer, revision for exams were intensifying; but still, Harry felt dull. He couldn't pin point why, but he felt just like how he felt at the beginning of September.

And so he did what he did then. Went downstairs with his Invisibility Cloak and Marauders Map, to the chilly hallway. Harry's mind wandered. He didn't truly know what was going on, what could happen. He couldn't stop thinking about Voldemort, quite literally. He felt terrified that anything sinister could become a reality, death was at every corner and Harry didn't know how to prevent it. His superiors weren't being of any help, his friends were comforting but Harry still craved a distraction. A release. He needed to feel something other than an aching nothing and intense anger. Despite what he told himself, this gnawing, nagging feeling wouldn't budge. 

He found himself, even after actively banishing all such thoughts from his head, wishing that a certain pair of grey eyes would coincidentally pop up.

And they did.

And it was awkward.

Harry's cloak had slipped off whilst he was walking around muttering to himself, and he didn't realise until he bumped into a taller figure. When Harry's startled pupils met confused grey ones, the icy October atmosphere heated up significantly. The boys stared at each other for what seemed like forever. It wasn't unusual for Malfoy and Potter to make snarky eye contact, but of course this was different. Harry had forgotten what it felt like, looking into such eyes. The heat in his heart and body only increased; this feeling, this was the feeling Harry was craving and looking for. Why did it have to be Malfoy who made him feel this way?!

Harry didn't get to take in more of the alabaster model that stood in front of him as Draco jerked his body back and made a run for it.

"Wait!" Harry called, unsure why but he felt compelled to see more of Draco. "Wait Malfoy!" Harry managed to grab his arm and pull him back, but not too close.

"What do you want Potter?!" Draco demanded, standing poised, calm, cold. Nothing like the flustered, red, hot Draco that had been interfering with Harry's thoughts. Harry looked up, then down again, and just sighed. He didn't know what he wanted. He had no fucking clue what he wanted and what to do and what was going on. With Draco, with the whole of the wizarding world; all he knew was that things were getting confusing. And maybe that's not what he needed right now. Harry wanted a distraction, yes, but he couldn't afford that. So stepping back and meeting Draco's levelled gaze, he replied with a nonchalant "never mind."

And reluctantly, walked away.